How am I doing? Yes, this is a question I've been longing to answer, but with no one to ask it. So I'm taking it upon myself to answer my own question as the necessary outlet I've been looking for.
We have lived in 7 places in the 6.75 years since we were married. We have made good friends in each of those places, but inevitably left them all behind. Most of these friends have become "virtual friends," with little to no contact outside of the internet. And even contact via internet is not usually personalized.
Since we moved here, we have met several families. But there hasn't been a lot of reciprocation so far.
So I spend my days with little children, and only occasionally break up the monotony with a play date or trip to the science center or the park.
In some ways, I am liking my new found routine, which has come about as a consequence to acquiring a more stable sleeping schedule.
I am proud of the fact that A) I have weaned the kids down to 1 hour of TV per day, and B) I have been exercising 20-30 minutes a day (hence my need for the electronic babysitter).
I have also organized
most of my house, though not all. I am contemplating several sewing projects, and have yet to put up decorations for fear of putting holes in the perfectly smooth walls.
I also have been very dejected over the lack of opportunities to use my degree/talents. With a wide range of musical knowledge, I am only teaching one voice lesson 30 minutes per week. While I enjoy it, I also long for more opportunities to perform or conduct or just to teach more.
I enjoy my calling in the Young Women, but have yet to really connect with the girls or even the other leaders. I feel out of place, but I faithfully go every Sunday and Wednesday.
My visiting teachers come every month, but I'm not sure I'll ever feel like I can call them in a time of need. Or even when I just feel lonely... Granted, I don't even know who I visit teach, so who am I to complain?
I'm not depressed, but I can't say that I'm happy either. I know I have a few things to work on to make myself a better person, a happier person. And I'm working on them.
I love my kids, truly. But sometimes it's hard to love being a mom. Every day is a new battle, and yet every day produces moments of sheer joy and laughter. It is so draining, and yet so rewarding at the same time.
I adore my husband, and lately feel more in love with him than ever. I love that he works so hard so that I can stay home with the kids. But I miss him.
I guess that's all.