XVI. Isaac

World, be jealous: you don't get to be this boy's mother!

Isaac came into the world with his arm next to his head, like Superman.  And then he started running and jumping and climbing.

Okay, maybe not exactly.  But Isaac is an adventurer.  He is not cautious; he wants to be big and try new things.  From the time he could crawl, he was climbing stairs.  By the time he could walk, he could get himself onto the counter top (we believe he would have been capable of reaching the ceiling above the fridge if we hadn't caught him in time).  He has no fear.  He will jump into a pool with no sense of danger and no life jacket.  It really is amazing, sometimes, that this child is still alive.  In fact, the first time we almost needed stitches was last week.  He tells me he hit his head on his pillow during nap time, but I'm suspicious.  He must have had the pillow between his head and something much more injurious.

Not to be outdone, this boy started speaking in complete sentences at a very young age.  He narrates everything that goes across the ticker-tape of his brain.  And he is smart!

This is a boy who knows what he wants.  He is in a phase right now in which he needs things to be done in a particular way, or the world might just fall apart.  You know, the phase that Joseph is finally growing out of...

Isaac has a sense of humor.  He likes to laugh.  He likes to make up jokes.  He'll even laugh when everyone's laughing, even if he doesn't understand what's so funny.

Isaac is learning how to be obedient.  But sometimes he likes to push the boundaries as far as they will go first.  But one success, I think, is that he is learning the "first you have to ... then you can" concept.  He doesn't like to be told "no," so this works well for me.  But if I tell him "no," as sometimes must be done, then he'll say, "Mom, you're being mean."  And so I am.

Isaac is so righteous that he often hijacks prayers.  If it were up to him, he would say every prayer.  He also likes to hijack all the parts of Family Home Evening (prayers, songs, lesson, activity) if he can.

He will always be the first to help me bake or cook.  It really upsets him if he can't dump everything in the bowl, and he doesn't always have patience to let me finish measuring first.  He loves to help with dishes, which I really don't love.  But he jumps at any chance to play in the water and bubbles.

Isaac wants to be big.  Last week he asked if he could try out the potty.  It was not convenient for three reasons: 1) I was fixing the potty right then, 2) we were getting ready for a vacation, and 3) the new baby will be here very soon (and I don't want to have to potty-train twice due to regression).  Luckily, he hasn't brought it up much again since, and I'll wait a couple months before reminding him.

He has a favorite blankie, a.k.a. ngangie, a.k.a. ngnangie monkey (it has monkeys on it); not to be confused with his "blanket," which is the comforter on his bed.

You can probably tell that this boy is a pretty busy little boy.  I am constantly baby-proofing.  Especially making sure the doors are locked (did I tell you he walked himself to the park a few months ago?!).  The thing is, he is smart enough to undo every type of baby-proofing device known to man (I've watched him dismantle quite a few already), so he really could get into anything if the idea came into his head.

Isaac loves to read.  And spell.  Well, I read to him (a lot), and Bryan spells with him (most words are spelled "R-R-R," "I-I-I," or "E-I-E," if you didn't know.

Isaac is still learning how to share and be nice and gentle.  This boy is a work-in-progress.  But he is such a fun kid.  He brings an element of excitement to our family.

I love him.  I cannot imagine my life without my Isaac!

XV. Joseph

My Joseph.

I guess a huge reason why I want to write these posts about my children is because I'm extremely curious to know if they'll grow up to be bigger versions of their young selves.

Joseph is a third child, poor thing.  I try not to change my parenting, but the inevitability is that he has always vied and will always be vying for my attention among several other children.  Which brings me to point number one: Joseph is super-competitive.  He always wants to be first.  Everything is a contest.  And he gets so frustrated, to the point of melt-down, if he can't win.  And the reality is that he is still smaller than the older two, and often he just can't win.  And he fights back.  I told Caleb recently, "You better be nice to him now, because someday he'll be bigger than you."  Even if Joseph doesn't grow taller than his older brother, he is certainly built stockier.

In that way, he is much like his father.  Stocky, competitive, and athletic.  We certainly have noticed his natural athletic abilities.  He also stays interested in sports longer than anyone else.  I imagine he will be driven to excel at something, like his dad.

Joseph doesn't take a back seat to anyone academically, either.  He is on his way to reading, being able to spell and sound out many words.  He can also calculate simple math problems in his head.  We are going to do a different preschool co-op with him this year (wish me luck!).  I think he will exceed expectations, but I'm sure he will love the repetition and just being with friends.

He is starting to become more aware of his surroundings and renew his sense of humor.  We used to call him "Joyseph" when he was a baby.  And then that sweet disposition disappeared completely.  All my kids went through a phase, starting at about three years old, when things had to be done in a certain way or the world fell apart.  Joseph was a bit extreme in this phase, and nothing ever went his way.  But now I am seeing that he is growing out of it.  Something in his eyes tells me he is starting to "get it."

Joseph loves to help.  He will be the first person to help me cook food.  And he will be the first person to weed the garden.  He loves dirt.  You will often find this boy covered in dust.

He loves Lightning McQueen and Mario and the color red.  For a while his favorite color changed to blue, because "blue are the good guys and red are the bad guys."  But now it's back to red.  He often dresses himself, and you will likely find him in a new red outfit as long as the clothes are clean.  He is very independent.  He likes to check in with me frequently, but he certainly wants to do things his own way.

Something else about Joseph is that he is very cautious.  He is not too willing to try new things.  And he is not likely to bow to pressure either.  If he says no, he means it.

A warning: this boy can be a chatter-box.  If you choose to engage him, he will talk your ear off.  And he will be super-animated, with great expressions, vocal inflections, and hand gestures.

I also think Joseph is going to grow up to be amazingly handsome.  :)

My Joseph keeps me on my toes, but I completely adore him.  I don't know what I'd do without my Joseph.

XIV. Savanna

Wow, it's been a while.  Again, I've been putting this off, trying to find a time when I could really sit down and think about this darling little girl and what I might say about her.  But I need to get cracking because I'd like to finish the posts about my kids before the next baby arrives.

Savanna has always been such an easy-going little girl.  For the most part, she is a peacemaker.  She loves to help me, and she enjoys playing with the other kids.  This year she has branched out a bit more, and she plays with friends more.  Everyone is her best friend.  She makes friends so easily, I'm baffled!  Wherever she goes, she will have a new friend.  She is also everyone's cheerleader.  If there is something to cheer about, or just some needed uplifting, you can count on Savanna.

Savanna is sooo affectionate.  She loves to give hugs and kisses, and her smiles are so sweet and sincere.  She is a nice girl.  She is also very sensitive.  Sensitive to others' needs, and sensitive in the emotional sense.  Sometimes she just needs a good cry and a solution, and then she's reset.  She's a pretty typical girl.

My sister-in-law and I were recently discussing the importance of building a healthy self-image in our children.  I'm going to have to disagree that my daughter should be deprived of compliments to her beauty in favor of compliments to her cleverness.  (Don't get me wrong, I actually think that children should be complimented for their intellect, kindness, and right choices, as well as looks.  They need all of it, even boys.)  This little girl is beautiful.  She has such a natural beauty; I hope she will be confident in the looks department all her life, because she is not deficient by any means.  And maybe a huge part of that is her radiant countenance.  She is a good girl, and she is so sweet.  What could be more attractive than that?

Savanna is also very smart.  She was so beyond Kindergarten when she started Kindergarten.  She started out counting past 100 and reading books (forget the ABCs).  The highlight of her day was always what she ate for snack time.  At the end of the year, the teacher was scrambling to keep her busy with math problems and book reports on chapter books.  Even still, she loved school.  She loved her friends, she loved her teacher, she loved playing, and she loved riding the bus.  She is very excited for first grade.  I just hope we will get a teacher as willing to work with her, as advanced classes don't start until third grade.

Savanna has an ear for music.  She can sing in tune better than most adults!  And she doesn't even know it.  She particularly loves to mimic me and pretend to use vibrato whenever she can.  Sometimes it makes me giggle, sometimes (like in Sacrament Meeting) I have to ask her to tone it down.  She is also learning to read music as I teach her piano lessons.

She is such a little mother.  She likes to pretend to play house whenever she can: cooking, cleaning, and playing with her dolls.  She is very excited for the real baby to come and has asked that she be the first to hold it.  She is convinced it will be a girl because she wants a sister so badly.  She always hugs my tummy, and she giggles every time she can feel the baby move.

Perhaps it is not fair to write this post about her now (as well as the younger siblings) because we haven't quite figured out what other talents she has.  She is interested in playing soccer, so we'll probably try that in the fall.  She loves to play outside with Daddy; it doesn't even matter what it is.  She loves swimming, pink, and pretty things.  She does her own hair as often as she can.  And she started learning how to crochet last week.  She loves to read and sets goals for herself to finish chapter books quickly.  She is a great helper and can do most chores I ask her to do.

I don't know what I'd do without her.  I love my Savanna!

XIII. Caleb

Once again, I have put off blogging because how in the world do you write a post about your beloved little people without forgetting anything?  It seems like a very daunting task.

 

We'll start with number 1.

 

Caleb came into the world on an awesome epidural.  I remember looking at this little creature in my arms and feeling a sense of, "This is weird."  I know, not what you'd expect.  But it was the first little person I birthed, and it took a little while (like an hour) for me to acclimate to loving someone I'd never even met.

Luckily, I had an awesome mom who taught me a lot about mothering through my own childhood, that the rest of motherhood seemed to come pretty naturally.  There wasn't much that surprised me about taking care of a baby, and I knew which sources could give me reliable answers.

Caleb has always been smart.  I'll try not to brag too much, but I do reserve the right to brag a little (it is my blog, after all).  When he turned 5 just weeks before the deadline to enter Kindergarten, I knew there was NO CHANCE we could even consider holding him back.  He. Was. Ready.  Reading and writing before he was four, we were certain he could keep up.  It turns out that even though he has consistently been one of the youngest in his classes, he has always been one of the more advanced.  I believe he has a photographic memory of sorts, and he tests really well.  He learns fast; once the light goes on, he usually remembers any given academic skill.

Legos have been one of his favorite toys for several years now.  He can create!  Not only does he have a creative artistic ability (like, he can think of something original in his head), he has an engineering mind.  His creations often have functional moving parts, which I know must take a lot of forethought to get it just right.  He wants to be a Lego designer when he grows up, but I imagine he will move on to bigger and better things.

This boy can draw!  Same creative artistic ability applies here.  It comes out of his head (and sometimes his memory) and straight onto the paper.  He is also a master at copying images he sees.  He has also dabbled in origami; again with the engineering mind.

As an 8 (almost 9)-year old, Caleb likes video games.  He has a list of chores that take him about an hour each day before he can play half an hour of video games, but it's a good motivator.  Mom and Dad also have complete control over which games he is allowed to play, so we feel good about this little motivational system.

Caleb can play piano.  He started really practicing this year, and he is flying through his lessons.  It helps that I teach him, so he can pass off songs as often as he is ready.  He has always had an ear for music, matching pitches at 10 months old (I heard that the average child can match pitches by age 6).

He loves to ride bikes, and he ran cross country this past year.  He was also on two different basketball teams, but he seems to do better at individual sports.  We need to explore his athletic abilities a bit more.

Caleb is an awesome helper.  He can do most tasks, and he really makes my life easier in many ways.  "Caleb" means obedient or faithful, and it perfectly describes my oldest son.  He really understands the difference between right and wrong, and he is very reasonable.  I can usually explain something to him, and that is discipline enough.

Caleb is a very friendly person.  And he is always looking for a laugh.  Something I love about Caleb is that since he was a baby, he would get hiccups every time he belly-laughed.  And he still does.  :)  It's adorable.

He is very self-motivated.  Usually he does his homework and practicing on his own, with an occasional question for me.

Caleb is a good friend and a good big brother.  He is usually aware of the weaknesses of others and lifts them up.  He wants to be liked by everybody, but he is learning how to choose friends that are good for him too.

Caleb is independent.  He is still very affectionate, and he checks in with me regularly throughout the day.  But he is perfectly happy doing his own thing.

I love this boy!  He is a huge blessing in my life.  I can't imagine my life without my Caleb.

XII. Bryan

I have been putting this off because it seems impossible to create a succinct, meaningful blog post about a person with whom you have spent every day for over 10 years of your life.

Bryan and I met at Marketing Ally, a telemarketing job that we both despised.  I was working there because it was easy to get a job, and it was an easy job.  Bryan worked there because he needed a job where he could take a load off his stress-fractured femur.  He asked me out the day before he quit his job, just in case I would say no.  :)

He figured he had one chance, so he planned a creative date.  I was impressed with each part of the date.  First, he made dinner.  We had squash from his parents' garden and lasagna .  Then we fed the ducks while we waited for the outdoor play to start.  He rented chairs so we wouldn't have to sit on the ground, and he brought Twizzlers.  I don't really like Twizzlers, but it was a sweet thought.  The play was a "Rock Opera."  It was a jazzed-up version of the operetta The Mikado.  I had performed scenes from this particular operetta in high school.  After the entertainment we went back to his apartment where he made Oreo milkshakes.  At this point in the night, his roommates started bragging about him.  It turns out that he was a very talented runner, one of the best on the BYU Track and Cross Country teams.

First, I was impressed that he could cook.  Second, I was impressed that he was frugal (something that might not impress every woman, but it worked for me!).  He was really easy to talk to, which is really saying something for me (anxiety reference here).  Third, I was impressed that he had researched the operetta so that he could be knowledgeable about it, which meant quite a bit of forethought to the date.  Which I, of course, appreciated.  Again, with the milkshakes, I was impressed that he made them and saved money in the process.  Fourth, I was impressed that he was concerned for my comfort during the date.  And lastly, I was impressed with his humility when his roommates brought up his abilities.  And it was at that time that I noticed the muscles on his arms, sneaking out of the bottom of his sleeves.  :)

After that, I really appreciated his direct approach (also very good for me).  There were never games.  If he felt like calling me, he did.  If he wanted to see me, he came by.  If he wanted to go out with me again, he called.  It was always easy to talk to him, and we always had a good time.  It didn't take too long for us to fall in love.  We started dating at the end of August 2002 and were engaged by the end of October 2002.  We were married on January 17, 2003 because it was a holiday weekend.  We were married on a Friday, honeymooned Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, and were back in class on Tuesday.

Bryan's Stake President offered us some advice: start the habit of reading scriptures and saying prayers together immediately, go to church together (we went to church in Zion's National Park), and have Family Home Evening together (we started on Monday).  Those habits have blessed our marriage tremendously through the years.

Bryan is a very motivated person.  You have never seen someone set goals and reach them as well as Bryan.  He is the kind of person that knows what it takes to succeed.  He works hard and he stays focused.  He always has a plan.  Bryan was captain of the Track and Cross-Country teams his senior year.  He took 2nd place in the 1500m at the NCAA Championships in 2005, with an equivalent of a 3:55 mile.

He was signed with New Balance to run professionally following graduation.  He did that for a year, while I finished my degree.  He was even able to run some European races in the summer.  In the fall, we decided to move on to grad school at the University of Kentucky while he continued running for New Balance.  Eventually he became injured, and had to end his professional running career.  But I think we always knew that we needed to have a Plan B, and in some ways the running career was the Plan B.  He finished his Masters in Health Administration with top grades and top honors.  He was asked to speak at his graduation.

During his last year of grad school, he began searching for jobs.  He was recruited by Avalon Health Care Group to be an Administrator-in-Training.  He was able to shadow a nursing home administrator for a year and still get paid for it.  Then they placed him as the administrator of the nursing home in Pullman, WA.  He had that job for three years and was able to do some great things.  Eventually he felt boxed in because the job in Pullman really had no room for growth.  He started researching other options, and now has a job with Life Care Centers of America in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.

Bryan is the type of person who just attracts people.  He is a true diplomat, and he makes friends wherever he goes.  He even turns potential enemies into friends with his powers of soothing.  He really excels at what he does, but you would never expect less from this man.

Bryan is funny.  He is always looking for something to laugh about.  He is always trying to make me smile, even resorting to what he calls "dancing."  :)

Bryan has a kind heart.  He is always serving me.  He loves to play with his kids.  He works hard so that he can provide a nice life for his family.  He is always trying to improve himself and be an even better man.

I really love him.  He is an awesome husband and father.  We are close.  We are best friends.  We love playing "house" together.  He makes me happy.  I am truly blessed to have this man in my life.

XI. BYU Experience

I lived off-campus my freshman year, instead of the dorms, to save money.  Because my parents and I were only vaguely familiar with the area, we didn't choose the most suitable place for an 18-year-old.  I lived in a very old house with 7 other girls.  Most of them were quite a bit older than me.  My room-roommate was a very disturbed, mentally unstable person.  I didn't have a car, so I had to rely on the kindness and mercy of others to go grocery shopping.  And I walked everywhere else.  I walked to school, I walked to church (which was usually some random building on campus), and I walked to work.  There are very limited opportunities for employment in Provo, so I started working at a telemarketing place near my house (and did so on-and-off until I met my husband there).  Luckily, I earned scholarships, and I had saved some money.  So my parents only had to help with some of my expenses.  The nice thing about BYU is that it is subsidized a great deal by tithing from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  So I got an awesome education for an awesome price.

As I said before, I went home during the following summer.  I got a job as a cashier at Wal-Mart.

I moved into another very old house with my sister Sharley the following year, just a bit closer to campus.  It was a dump.  During our time there, the roof collapsed over the lean-to laundry room, and the house started on fire just as my roommate was returning from Christmas vacation.  Luckily (?), the damage was minimal, and we were able to continue living there.  That year, I also joined the BYU Concert Choir.  We went on tour through the northwestern states in early spring; it was the only tour we ever attempted during my time there.

That summer, I moved in with my grandma for a few weeks until I could find an apartment.  I found one a little closer to campus, hoping that I might be able to stay during the Fall semester.  It didn't work out, so I was on the hunt for another apartment again.  I found something just south of campus (even closer than before) in which I could have a private room at a great price.  I think I would have been happy with that apartment for a long time, if I hadn't gotten married.  I was able to sell my contract to my sister Sharley the next semester.

When you apply for BYU, and each year thereafter, you have to sign a contract (also endorsed by an ecclesiastical leader) that you will keep and have kept the BYU Honor Code.  Some highlights of this code are strict curfews, complete honesty, no alcohol or drugs, and no premarital sex.  Actually, for most people (including me), it didn't feel restrictive since we already obeyed these laws.

Although my mother had taught me a great deal about cooking and cleaning, and even though I was a really good student, it took time learning how to take care of and motivate myself.  Each year, I spent more and more time at school studying (since I learned that studying at home was less effective).  And each year I put a little more effort into feeding myself properly.

Once I got married, my eyes were opened to a whole different side of BYU, namely the athletic side.  I started visiting buildings I didn't even know existed before.  And I continued to walk everywhere.  I have never been athletic myself, but I'm pretty sure I was in the best shape of my life while I was at BYU because I was walking so much!

Once we were married, Bryan and I were on our own financially (and rightly so!).  We each had decent scholarships, we were able to get Pell grants, we had jobs during the summer, and we eventually had to get student loans to cover our living expenses.  How in the world did we survive?  Only the Lord knows.

I'm sure I could go on forever about my experience at college, but I will be satisfied with the highlights.  I kept a pretty good journal during that time, so my children will be able to read more details if they wish.

X. Boyfriends

I think it appropriate that this topic chronologically falls on Roman Numeral X.

I remember having crushes on boys since Kindergarten, a different boy each week that I would marry someday.

I became increasingly shy over the years.  I went from announcing to the whole class, "I have a crush on so-and-so," to never speaking to the boy I had a crush on.  Too many boys never even knew I existed, and I certainly didn't help them along.

So I will define a boyfriend as someone with whom I had mutual interest, to the point of some sort of exclusivity.

1. I was sixteen when I started dating my first "boyfriend" Jared.  He was the first boy to hold my hand.  At some point, he even told me he loved me.  I regretted it at the time, but I responded with, "You don't even know me."  And it was true, he didn't!  Now I look back and congratulate myself, saying, "Good girl!  That's right!"  When he finally got around to kissing me for the first and last time, our mutual interest was waning.  Soon after, on the day of my birthday party actually, we really talked for the first time.  What you have to understand is that we barely ever saw one another, and we didn't talk.  I'm not sure what we did, actually.  Seems rather boring now.  So we finally had a DTR (Define the Relationship) for the first time that night, and we finally talked that night.  He hadn't felt "fireworks" when he kissed me (it was a peck).  So it was over.  Soon after, he started taking out my brother's old girlfriend.  That was probably when Dallon and I really bonded for the first time (haha!).

2. I met John when I was in 10th grade, I think.  He was a year younger than me: much closer to my little sister's age.  I would say that John was my first real boyfriend.  We had a great friendship long before we started dating.  It was a difficult decision for me to start dating him though, because I had always been taught to date within my faith (so that I could get married in the temple someday, among other reasons).  John wasn't really active in any religion.  I finally started dating him, and eventually he joined the Church.  He and I shared a lot of friends; and he was really close to my family, especially Dallon.  Then I went away to college, and he stayed behind.  That's when things got tough.  I spent a lot of hours talking to him on the phone on the weekends.  When I went home for Christmas, he proposed to me.  I think it was meant to be more of a "promise ring," but we had long-term plans to get married after he went on a mission.  That's when things started falling apart.  I went back to school, and he started making some bad choices.  I couldn't believe what I was hearing from my sister Sharley, who was still in classes with him at the high school.  I also found out that he had stopped going to church.  I talked to him on the phone about it.  I told him I was going to take off my ring for a while, until he was ready to try again.  During the summer, I went home to visit again.  Oh, how I hoped he would be ready to get back together!  But, oh, the crushing disappointment to find out he really didn't want to anymore.  He had been going out with other girls, he had wrecked a car or two, he had tried drugs and alcohol, and he was into pornography.  It was not meant to be.  We had dated for about two years.

By the time I got to college, I was a serial first-dater.  I got a lot of first dates, but not a lot of second dates.  I think it was because I was so shy that guys interpreted that to mean that I wasn't interested.  But there were a few that I went out with more than once.

3. I met Eric through a mutual voice teacher at BYU.  We sang a duet together in a recital, and then we started going out.  Eric was a bit awkward.  He drove from Indiana to Tennessee to visit me one summer.  We had held hands, and we had kissed, I think, before that.  But when I kissed him one night, I realized that the awkwardness was too much.  Or maybe he had discovered that he wasn't as interested in me as he thought.  Or maybe I realized that he was too much of a rebound.  We had never made anything official, and we kind of just broke off contact after that.

4. I met Clifton at an after-choir-concert dance.  We started going out and became exclusive pretty quickly.  I was the first girl he ever kissed, so there was a bit of awkwardness there.  Soon after we started going out, though, he started trying to change things about me.  He wanted me to dress more fashionably (I guess I've never been very stylish).  And all the while, even though I never said it out loud, I didn't like the way he dressed either.  He also really liked to exercise, and told me that I should exercise too.  He was tall and too skinny, so I felt chubby next to him already.  I never really felt right dating him, and I broke it off after 5 weeks.  He tried to get back together with me, telling me that he had changed (that he would stop trying to change me).  I remember feeling so sad about the break-up, but I knew I wasn't going to change my mind.

5. Bryan was the best boyfriend ever.  He still is, ten years later and counting.  :)  More on this story later.

IX. Academic/Extra-Curricular

Kindergarten: I don't have much to say about this year, except that when we moved, I switched from half-day to full-day.  And in full-day Kindergarten, the kids took a nap every day on mats on the floor.  I never could fall asleep, since I wasn't used to having a nap anymore.  I think my mom also started teaching me piano when I was 5.

1st Grade: I started leaving the classroom to do accelerated work (like math games in the computer lab--yeah, awesome...).

2nd Grade: I switched schools halfway through the year, and they taught French at the second school.  I only remember "Bon jour, mes amis" and "Au revoir, mes amis."  (Although I wouldn't have been able to spell them until after several diction classes at BYU.)

3rd Grade: I was tested for the gifted program.

4th Grade: I attended the gifted classes.

5th Grade: I attended the gifted math class and went to the highest reading class.

6th Grade: I attended the accelerated English and Math classes.  I also started band, learning to play the flute.

7th Grade: I attended the accelerated English and Math classes, but with two different teachers this time.  I continued to take band.  I also auditioned and was accepted into All-East Band. 

8th Grade: I quit the gifted program because the teacher was horrible (ask any of my friends!).  Several other kids quit that year, and eventually the teacher was fired.  I started taking Latin.  I continued to take band.  Again, I auditioned and was accepted into All-East band.

 9th Grade: I attended the U.S. Government class that was meant for gifted kids, but they let me in anyway (even though I wasn't "gifted" anymore).  I attended another year of Latin.  I quit band.  But I attended the Music Appreciation class, because I was interested in music.  It turns out that it was a class where all the lazy kids were dumped.  There was no functional choir at the school, nor had there been for 20 years.  I also attended early-morning Seminary (I believe we studied the New Testament).

10th Grade: A new teacher was hired to teach choir.  My dad suggested that I offer to accompany the choir in exchange for voice lessons.  So I did!  I got a great deal out of it because I was improving two of my talents for free.  I also attended early-morning Seminary (I believe we studied the Old Testament).

11th Grade: I continued with accompanying and voice lessons.  I auditioned for, and was accepted into, Tennessee Governor's School for the Arts.  It was a month-long summer program in which I was exposed to intense vocal training, choir, and opera scenes.  I also started working in my dad's business.  And I started taking piano lessons from a nearby university.  (This teacher was also lousy, so I gave it up after a while.)  I also attended early-morning Seminary (I believe we studied Church History and the Doctrine and Covenants [another LDS scripture]).

12th Grade: A new teacher was hired to teach choir (the other one had a baby and left).  She didn't allow me to accompany, so I joined the choir.  I still continued to take voice lessons with the other teacher, though.  I finally got up the courage this year to audition for All-East choir and All-State choir.  I easily got into both, with the highest score of anyone who auditioned.  I also continued working for my dad. I again attended early-morning Seminary (I believe we studied the Book of Mormon).  I also completed my Personal Progress this year (a four-year program for the young women at church in which we set goals and completed spiritual tasks and lots of service.)

BYU: I continued to take voice lessons, joined the choir, did opera scenes, and a whole host of other music classes (Diction, Theory, Sight-Singing, Dictation, Music History, Opera Scenes, Masterclasses, Pedagogy, Functional Piano Skills, etc.).  I also took several religion classes: Old Testament, New Testament, Church History, Doctrine and Covenants, Pearl of Great Price (another LDS scripture), Book of Mormon, Marriage and Family, and The Family: A Proclamation to the World.

All-in-all, I have had about 9 years of choir (if you include post-college choirs), 9 years of voice lessons, 3-4 years of piano lessons (I took lessons pretty sporadically, but I was always practicing), and 3 years of band.  I have been teaching piano and voice lessons on and off for about ten years.  I also had about 8 years of intense gospel study.

I have a great brain for math, which aids in my musical abilities.  Unfortunately, I don't have a brain for creativity.  So my talents are all very formulaic and less expressive, although I'm working on that...

VIII. Mom's Cancer

One morning, when I was 16, I was being sassy to my mother.  I don't remember the circumstances at all, just that I was being disrespectful for some reason.  I don't even remember her reaction, but I remember my dad's reaction.

He grabbed me by the shoulders, and told me that I should never treat my mother that way.  Then he broke the news to me that she had cancer.

I don't think I even knew it was a concern.  I found out later that she had been to a doctor for another reason, and the doctor somehow noticed a lump on her throat.  The doctor ordered a biopsy, and it came back positive for thyroid cancer.

Thyroid is the slowest-growing, most treatable cancer.  My mom had Stage 4 cancer; Stage 5 is usually terminal.  This meant that she likely had the cancer most of her life.

Of course, I was experiencing this process as a teenager.  So I was much more concerned about myself and what it would mean to me, than about my mother and what she was going through.  Or even my dad, what he was going through, and what it meant to him.

Initially, the treatment would mean surgery.  For some reason, on the day of the surgery, my siblings were not home.  The younger children probably were with babysitters.  I think maybe my brother and I had jobs, and we worked that day.  But I was home earlier than Dallon, and I remember just waiting around to get the phone call about how the surgery went.

Once the surgeon began the operation, he discovered that the cancer was more extensive than he had guessed.  Some of the tumors were wrapped around a nerve to one of her vocal cords.  She would lose her voice.

Soon after, when my mom was in recovery, my dad took me to visit her.  On the way to the hospital, he tried to prepare me for what I would see, and he also tried to prepare me that she might die.  But my mom was beautiful!  She had tubes attached everywhere, but I was so happy to see her.

She told me later that when she was in the ICU, she had a scary experience.  Somehow the tube in her throat had failed to drain her throat properly.  She began to choke, and she could not reach the call button.  She began to panic, so she said a prayer in her mind.  The words came to her mind:

Night gathers round my soul
Fearful, I cry to Thee,
Come to mine aid, O Lord!
Haste Thee, Lord, haste to help me!

Hear my cry, hear my cry
Save me, Lord in Thy mercy;
Hear my cry, hear my cry!
Come and save me, O Lord!
(O Divine Redeemer, Charles Gounod)

My mother was a singer with a beautiful voice.  Because the operation potentially could take her voice, she had sung this song the night before the operation.  She also received a priesthood blessing.

Miraculously, God caused a nurse to notice my mom's distress, and she was able to fix the problem so my mom could breathe again.

When she was recovered enough, she began going through radiation treatment.  Her throat was literally cooked, so that it was difficult for her to swallow.  She started drinking Ensure (like Slimfast) to gain weight.

I got my driver's license soon after, so that I could occasionally drive her to her radiation treatments.

My mom eventually made a full recovery (with some lasting side-effects) and has been in remission for over 14 years.

It wasn't long after her recovery that she began to take voice therapy lessons at Vanderbilt University.  Through her hard work, she was able to relearn the notes in her voice.  Because one vocal cord is paralyzed, the other compensates by coming over to meet the other.  She has a very quiet, airy voice because the vocal cords never completely close together.  My mother is such an inspiration.  She even recently joined a choir!

My mom worked so hard to beat the cancer because she knew that she still had important things to do with her life, especially to raise her family.

I am so grateful that she is still around.  I still need her.  I can't imagine my life without her.

Thanks and praise be to God for saving her!

VII. Baptism

Soon after I turned 8, I was baptized.  I remember the day pretty clearly.  It was a beautiful summer day.  I wore an outfit my mom made for me, a shirt and skirt that matched with a beautiful pink flower pattern.  My mom French-braided my hair.

We were in a brand-new ward, and I remember that another person was baptized that day.  I wore a white jump-suit, and my dad baptized me by immersion.

That night, my grandparents gave me my own set of scriptures with their testimonies written inside.

The next day was Sunday, and my Grandpa Holmes confirmed me (which means that he laid his hands on my head to bless me, officially joined me to the Church, and conferred upon me the gift of the Holy Ghost).

Even though there isn't a whole lot to say about the actual day, it was truly significant to me.

I am a Mormon.  In fact, most of my ancestors go all the way back to the beginning of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Regardless of my heritage, I have come to know the truthfulness of the gospel through my own study and prayer.

How are Mormons different than mainstream Christianity?  I won't attempt to be exhaustive in my answer, but I will name a few significant differences.

We are not Protestants.  We did not break off from any other church.  We believe that Christ restored the gospel through the prophet Joseph Smith.

We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.  We believe they are three separate members of the Godhead.  They have different roles, but They are unified in Their purpose (to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man).

We believe the Bible, and we believe the Book of Mormon is also the word of God.  The Book of Mormon is a history of two groups of ancient people who inherited the American continent as their Promised Land.  God called prophets from among those people, who taught them the gospel just as it had been taught in Jerusalem.  When Christ resurrected, He came to visit the people on this continent.  Throughout the Book of Mormon, the people went through cycles of wickedness and righteousness.  Eventually, they became so wicked that they destroyed one another.  The prophet Mormon abridged the records of the two peoples, and gave them to his son before he died.  Moroni added a few writings, then buried them in the Hill Cumorah in what is now Palmyra, New York.  When the boy Joseph Smith was 14, he prayed to know which church was true.  The answer he received was a visitation from God, the Father, and Jesus Christ.  He was instructed that no other church had the fullness of the gospel, and that he was to be an instrument in restoring it.  Joseph Smith later received visitations from the angel Moroni, who showed him where the plates were buried.  Through the power of God, Joseph Smith translated the plates.

We believe in modern revelation.  We believe that our prophet President Thomas S. Monson receives revelation for the Church.  We also believe that we can study and pray, and receive personal revelation through the Holy Ghost.

We believe that when the gospel was restored, that the priesthood (the authority and power of God to act in His name) was also restored.  President Thomas S. Monson holds all the authority, but he delegates that authority how God directs him to.

We also believe in eternal families.  We believe that through the priesthood authority and temple ordinances, a man and woman and their children can be linked, or sealed, together forever.

We believe that we are saved by grace, after all we can do.  In other words, the Atonement of Christ is the only way we can return to heaven.  But we have to keep the commandments, and repent if we make mistakes.

http://mormon.org/eng/ has more thorough explanations of what we believe.  What I believe.

I love the gospel.  I love my Savior, Jesus Christ.  I am so grateful for everything He has done for me.

VI. The Twins

It makes sense, chronologically, to talk about the twins here.

I was seven when my mom delivered the twins.  I won't even attempt to understand or portray her feelings.  As a mother, I think I can imagine what her feelings might have been.

Of course, I really didn't understand much about what was going on.  I remember my mom was in the hospital on or around Christmas.  I'm sure the doctors were doing everything in their power to stop the labor.  Within a couple weeks, she was 21 weeks along.  She had too much water; nothing could be done.  Later we wondered if it was caused by undiagnosed gestational diabetes, or if the undiagnosed cancer may have had something to do with it.

One twin lived for only a minute, the other was stillborn.  She never got a birth certificate for either, and we never had a funeral.

I remember going to the hospital with my siblings.  My parents involved us in the mourning process, which was probably really wise on their part.  We each held each of the babies.  I remember how tiny their bodies were.  I remember how red their skin was, I remember their tiny faces, their tiny fingers and toes.  I remember how skinny their arms and legs were.

At some point that night, my mom was braiding my hair, and the other kids were herded to the car.  When she was done, I looked at the babies for the last time.  One of them was bleeding, and I took a cloth and gently wiped the blood away.

Though no birth certificates existed, and no funeral was performed, my parents still named the babies:

Richard Alexander (Baby A) and
Randall Bryan (Baby B)

But of course, we believe in eternal families.  My parents were married in the temple for time and all eternity.  Each of the children was born in that covenant.  Our family will be together forever, including my brothers.  Even though they lived for a very short time, they did live!  Spirits resided in their bodies.  No one could ever convince me otherwise.

V. Schools

E.G. King Elementary School, Kindergarten
Westside Elementary School, Kindergarten
Crissey Elementary School, First and Second Grades
Cash Elementary School, Second Grade
Brainerd Elementary School, Third and Fourth Grades
Ooltewah Intermediate School, Fifth Grade
Ooltewah Middle School, Sixth - Eighth Grades
Ooltewah High School, Ninth - Twelfth Grades
Brigham Young University, 2000 to 2006

A few notes:

I remember the cheer for Westside (think in a southern accent), "Two-four-six-eight, who do we appreciate?  West-sah!"

I was a good student, and generally got As.  I got one B in high school, and one or two in college.

It took me six years to get my bachelor degree for two reasons.  First, I wasn't accepted into the School of Music right away, so I was behind.  Second, I had a baby (Caleb) when I was nearly finished.  I took only voice lessons during the next year, and finished my degree the following year.  I couldn't have finished sooner, since I had a certain number of voice lesson credits that had to be taken in succession.

It worked out really well, because Bryan graduated in 2005.  He was sponsored by New Balance for the next year, which meant that he could run before I went to school and again when I came home.  So he stayed home with they baby while I finished my degree.

My degree is Bachelor of Music: Vocal Performance.  I gave a Junior Recital in 2005, singing 25 minutes.  I gave a Senior Recital in 2006, singing 50 minutes (19 songs in English, Italian, French, and German).  It was the most mentally taxing experience of my life, since everything had to be memorized!  I remember sitting backstage between sets, reviewing the words to the next set as quickly as I could.  Talk about stress!!!

IV. Siblings

A. Dallon.  My older brother is about 16 months older than me.  We were so close in age that we really didn't get along most of our growing-up years.  I know he hated it when I had crushes on his friends, or they on me.  Somewhere about dating age, we started to get along.  We had a lot of the same friends; and he started having crushes on my friends, and they on him.  We went to a lot of the same parties and activities together.  He served a mission in Copenhagen, Denmark.  When he returned, he attended Ricks College (now BYU Idaho).  He got a degree in English.  There he met his wife Patty.  Now they have three kids: Zeeli, 8; Emma, (almost) 6, and Adalaide, two days.  Dallon is funny.  He can be hilarious and make people laugh till they cry, spit, or pee their pants.  Dallon is an amazing writer and artist.  It's amazing to see the things he pulls out of his head and puts onto paper.  He is a very thoughtful person; as in, he thinks deeply about things.  He loves the outdoors.  He is a very gentle, tender, respectful person.  Love you, Dall!

B. Sharley.  My sister was born about 14 months after me.  I don't think our relationship was nearly as tempestuous as my relationship with Dallon, but it wasn't as awesome as I wish I could claim.  I was mean to Sharley.  I hated having a little person following me around all the time.  I don't know how she ever put up with me.  We got along better in our teenage years, especially since we had similar interests and even some classes together at school.  During my second year of college, we were roommates.  I still remember instances where I was just mean to her, probably acting out of my own stress and frustration.  Poor Sharley; I still feel bad about it.  Sharley got her degree in Home and Family Living.  She married Eldon, and they have two kids: Cameron, 3; and James, 1.  Sharley is a sensitve, sweet, kind, thoughtful person.  She is a very careful person; careful in her relationships, careful what she says, careful in her PB&J-making.  Sharley is musically talented, both in singing and piano.  Sharley has the gentlest hands I have ever seen.  She and I have developed a close relationship over the years (and over the phone) as we have discovered that we have so much in common, except that she is much sweeter than me.  Love you, Shar!

C. Jennilyn.  My sister was born when I was about 4.  I remember helping take care of her and changing her diapers.  I also remember asking my mom if I could hold her every Sunday before church, promising that I wouldn't drop her this time (I wanted to be big and walk around with the baby).  Jenni and I attended the same school when she was in Kindergarten, but never again.  It turns out that this middle child really took on characteristics of a first child, being so separated from siblings by so many years.  Jenni is smart.  She is successful at whatever she touches.  In high school, she was valedictorian.  She also developed musical talents (piano and singing), and she ran track and cross country.  We overlapped in college for a couple years.  Jenni got her degree in Nursing.  She met her husband Jared in school, and they have two kids: Kaitlyn, (almost) 4; and Madison, 1.  Jenni works as a nurse.  Jenni is a hard-worker, and she is the type of person who can set goals and stick to it.  Of all my siblings, I think Jenni and I look most alike.  Jenni is fun to talk to, and she has a great laugh (and her nostrils flare when she laughs, like mine).  Love you, Jenn!

D. and E. Richard and Randall.  I won't say much about the twins just yet.  But I know that eternally, they are my brothers.  Heavenly Father allowed them to come to earth just long enough to get their bodies, but took them home because they were valiant enough without a mortal existence.  I look forward to the day when I can meet them again.

F. Audriana.  My little sister is about 9 years younger than me.  I took care of this little girl quite a bit.  I remember waking her up as a newborn, just so I could hold her (my grandma was NOT happy with me).  Audri was always a curious little person.  She would moan herself to sleep, in an attempt to stay awake so she wouldn't miss anything.  She got into everything!  She was the ring-leader for trouble when my little brother came into the picture.  Together they flooded the bathroom.  And another time, they dumped Kool-Aid powder on the carpet; then added water to clean up the mess.  The red stain came out of the carpet; but years later when the carpet was replaced, we found a nice stain on the wood beneath.  It turns out that Audri has very mild Asperger's.  She always struggled with learning how to behave appropriately, but she never struggled to love people.  Audri's greatest talent is to love and care about other people.  Audri also has some musical talent, with singing and piano.  She always did well in school, and she has recently passed the test to become a dental assistant.  Audri is always sweet and always affectionate.  Love you, Auj!

G. Jacob.  My little brother is about 10 years younger than me.  I became expert at diaper changes by the time Jake came along.  As a little boy, he won the hearts of all my friends.  He even said he would marry some of them!  Jake turned into quite the tease.  He figured out pretty early on that he could push Audri's buttons, and that was great fun.  Jacob also imitated Dallon in every way.  He wanted to be just like Dallon.  Jacob is really smart.  He has a brain for anything computer and electronic.  He recently began serving his mission in Phoenix, Arizona.  It has been fun to get to know him better through his letters.  He is a good kid with righteous desires.  He works hard, and his testimony is increasing with his service.  Love you, Jake!

III. Dad

My dad grew up in a home full of turmoil as well.  His dad is the sweetest-tempered, most gentle, Christ-like man.  His mom had some unresolved mental issues.  She physically and verbally abused my dad as a child, to the point that he acted out just to get the love and stroking that came after.

Of course, everyone would have said that my dad was a really naughty kid, and he pushed her to the limit.  What they discovered much, much later in life is that he has attention deficit (possibly hyperactive) disorder.  My dad was third of four children.

My dad served an LDS mission in Paris, France.  He put himself through college by working as an auto-mechanic.  He got a degree in business management.  During college, he met my mom.  He was the  handsome guy everyone was after, but she didn't play that game.   Of course, that intrigued my dad, so he chased her.  They got married soon after.   When I was very little, my dad injured his back.  I think it was a very difficult time for him, especially since he had several mouths to feed.  Eventually he recovered, but I think it was a great learning experience.

Ever since, he has been a very hard worker, and never slacked in his duty to provide for his growing family.  He was also a bit of an entrepreneur, so he dabbled in a lot of side interests.  My dad is the kind of guy who is a jack of all trades.  He can do anything.  He is very smart and an amazing problem-solver.

Something else about my dad that I admire is that he has an extensive knowledge about the gospel.  He is the kind of person who ponders, and he is the kind of person who understands eternal things.  If I ever have a question about kids, I call Mom.  If I ever have a question about the gospel, I call Dad.

My dad and I didn't get along too well when I was a teenager, though.  I think it was because I was trying to assert myself (beyond the limits), and he really just wanted what was best for me.  So we clashed.  As I've gotten older, I have learned to appreciate the wisdom of his 24 extra years of life.

My dad is always helping other people.  He is always reaching out and searching for people who need a little boost.  He never expects anything in return.  He is an amazing example of Christlike love in action.  I hope that I can learn to be like that.  Sometimes it feels impossible to reach outside of my own little family, but I know that my dad always does.  Love you, Dad!

II: Mom

How does one even begin to write about her mother?

Well, for starters, my mom is the best mom in the whole wide world.

And you might ask why I would write about my mom before writing about my dad, and the answer is simply that she came into the world chronologically one week before my dad.

My mom grew up in a home full of turmoil.  She was the second of six and the oldest daughter, just like me.  Her father (though he is a much different man now) was very physically and verbally abusive; to his wife, to his children, even to his babies.  Eventually, but maybe not soon enough, my grandmother left that marriage.  My mom was 18, I think, when the divorce happened.

In college, my mom was a very outgoing, social person.  I bet she was the kind of person that everyone wanted to be friends with and that everyone wanted to date.  She was an adorable, petite, spunky person.  She liked to dance, and she loved to sing.  She struggled with test-taking, but she went to college to get a degree in elementary education.  (That's probably why she was/is such a good mom.)

My mom has suffered many trials, and it's hard to see why she needs them.  She's the kind of person who is sweet, gentle, humble, patient, and every good thing!  Many of her trials happened during my lifetime, and I remember them.  I am sure that I never did, nor ever will understand what she went through.  Her older brother committed suicide (he may have suffered from the same mental illness that plagued my grandpa).  She miscarried twins at 21 weeks (I will write more about my feelings on this another time); she was diagnosed with and treated for thyroid cancer (I will write more about this, too); and she and my dad lost their business and home recently.  This is a woman who has borne her trials superbly, and I hope that I can be even just a little bit like her someday.

My mom is a good listener, and a great troubleshooter when it comes to children.  She is smart, she works hard, and she's always thinking about others.  She stays really busy with her two jobs, and I only wish I could spend more time with her and glean some of her wisdom and goodness.

I am lucky to have such a wonderful example of what I want to be when I grow up.  Love you, Mom!

Life Story: I. Locations

Everyone has a story.

I have decided to share my story for the sake of my posterity and anyone else who's interested.  It makes the most sense to me to create chapters by topic, but as chronological as possible.

I thought I'd start out with the places I've lived.  I like to count any place where I slept in the same bed for a length of time.


(Location; # of different homes; age)

1. Ogden, Utah; two; 0-4
2. Layton, Utah; one; 4-5
3. Ringgold, Georgia; one; 5
4. Holland, Ohio; one; 6-7
5. Kernersville, North Carolina; one; 7
6. Chattanooga, Tennessee; two; 8-18  (I also spent a month in Murfreesboro, Tennessee at age 17)
7. Provo, Utah (single); four; 18-20
8. Provo, Utah (married); four; 20-23
9. Lexington, Kentucky; one; 24-25
10. Federal Way, Washington; one; 26-27
11. Pullman, Washington; two; 27-30
12. Post Falls, Idaho (two months); one; 30
13. Coeur d'Alene, Idaho; one; 30

So, in my 30 years, I have lived in 13 different cities and moved about 20 times.  Which begs the question, why?  There are a few answers:  when I was a kid, my dad's business moved us around quite a bit; and once I got to college, I (and then we) didn't stay in one place for very long in an attempt to save money.  After college, we were in pursuit of grad school and Bryan's career.

We are really happy in our current location, and we hope that we never have to move again.  :)