Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
The Bus
Every parent who sends their child to public school will have to face this question: will I drive or send my kid on the bus? (Unless you're close enough to walk.)
I rode the bus as a kid. And I remember it being a place where unsupervised kids would speak and act inappropriately. One time, a kid even said to me, "Have you ever masturbated? Nah, you probably don't even know what that is." The theme of the bus, and also the space of time when we arrived in school and waited in the cafeteria for school to start, was sex, sex, sex. Luckily I had parents who were willing to talk to me about my questions, but unfortunately many of the questions sprang up after the periods of time on the bus and in the cafeteria holding place.
When Caleb was in Kindergarten, the bus didn't come to our neighborhood because we lived too close to the school. But it was at least a mile to walk, so I drove him.
The bus started coming to our neighborhood last year, but I still drove him because of my aforementioned reasons.
I have two other arguments against the bus. One is that I like the control of seeing my child enter the school, and exit again. I like to be able to see her safely into the hands of the next caregiver. The last argument is about the amount of time my child would waste being on the bus.
This year, in our new town, Kindergartners go to a separate school called the Kinder Center. Neither school is super far from our house, but the traffic to get to the Kinder Center is not awesome. I was driving to two schools two times a day each. Savanna attends afternoon Kindergarten, so it was a struggle to keep Isaac awake until we could get home for a nap. But I kept driving. Then I talked to a few moms about the Kindergarten bus, skeptical that it would be for us. But they explained that the Kindergartners aren't allowed to sit together, that they have to sit one to a seat. Not that I think Kindergartners are going to speak inappropriately, but my mind was eased that mischief would be difficult to manage in this seating arrangement. So I put her on the bus. My other two arguments were appeased because the bus is a direct conduit to the school. I felt safe placing her in the care of the bus driver, who follows strict rules to ensure she enters the school when she gets there. Savanna's a good kids, so I'm not worried she's going to try to wander off. And lastly, the amount of time I was wasting more than makes up for the time she is wasting. And if you count everyone's hours separately, the boys time wasted, plus mine, it was so much more than the time she wasted.
And when I told her she could ride the bus, she was ecstatic. She doesn't mind the wasted time. Obviously.
I still drop off and pick up Caleb from school. And next year, when Savanna is in first grade, I will only have to travel to one school. I'm still wary of the bus for the elementary school; and as it's not very far away, I think I will always drive them.
I'm curious about your thoughts: what do you think about the bus?
I rode the bus as a kid. And I remember it being a place where unsupervised kids would speak and act inappropriately. One time, a kid even said to me, "Have you ever masturbated? Nah, you probably don't even know what that is." The theme of the bus, and also the space of time when we arrived in school and waited in the cafeteria for school to start, was sex, sex, sex. Luckily I had parents who were willing to talk to me about my questions, but unfortunately many of the questions sprang up after the periods of time on the bus and in the cafeteria holding place.
When Caleb was in Kindergarten, the bus didn't come to our neighborhood because we lived too close to the school. But it was at least a mile to walk, so I drove him.
The bus started coming to our neighborhood last year, but I still drove him because of my aforementioned reasons.
I have two other arguments against the bus. One is that I like the control of seeing my child enter the school, and exit again. I like to be able to see her safely into the hands of the next caregiver. The last argument is about the amount of time my child would waste being on the bus.
This year, in our new town, Kindergartners go to a separate school called the Kinder Center. Neither school is super far from our house, but the traffic to get to the Kinder Center is not awesome. I was driving to two schools two times a day each. Savanna attends afternoon Kindergarten, so it was a struggle to keep Isaac awake until we could get home for a nap. But I kept driving. Then I talked to a few moms about the Kindergarten bus, skeptical that it would be for us. But they explained that the Kindergartners aren't allowed to sit together, that they have to sit one to a seat. Not that I think Kindergartners are going to speak inappropriately, but my mind was eased that mischief would be difficult to manage in this seating arrangement. So I put her on the bus. My other two arguments were appeased because the bus is a direct conduit to the school. I felt safe placing her in the care of the bus driver, who follows strict rules to ensure she enters the school when she gets there. Savanna's a good kids, so I'm not worried she's going to try to wander off. And lastly, the amount of time I was wasting more than makes up for the time she is wasting. And if you count everyone's hours separately, the boys time wasted, plus mine, it was so much more than the time she wasted.
And when I told her she could ride the bus, she was ecstatic. She doesn't mind the wasted time. Obviously.
I still drop off and pick up Caleb from school. And next year, when Savanna is in first grade, I will only have to travel to one school. I'm still wary of the bus for the elementary school; and as it's not very far away, I think I will always drive them.
I'm curious about your thoughts: what do you think about the bus?
Monday, December 17, 2012
Christmas Letter
If you didn't receive an email with our Christmas Letter, it's because I don't have a current email address for you. Please email me at briannehlindsay at gmail dot com so I can send you one.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Cooperation
I've had a few bad experiences with cooperation.
When Caleb was in Kindergarten, I tried to do a carpool with two ladies. One of them was consistently late, and then finally just didn't show up one day. The other lady used the carpool as a reward/punishment for her own child, so she was unreliable.
Recently, I started teaching piano lessons to two kids in exchange for regular babysitting. I've taught three or four times, but I've only had an hour of babysitting in return.
And then there was preschool. I'm not completely opposed to preschool, but I have a few objections all the same. My first and main objection is that kids go to school when they're five. I like to keep them with me as long as possible (and then gladly wave goodbye when it's time for Kindergarten). My second objection has to do with the ages and personalities of my own children. When Caleb was little, we never did any form of preschool, except at home. When he started Kindergarten, he was one of the youngest in his class. Also one of the most advanced: when he was three, he wrote "CALEB DORE" in permanent marker on my mom's bathroom door.
When Savanna was little, we were invited to be in a preschool co-op. We joined, more for the social aspect (both for her and for me). Unfortunately, Savanna was older than the other kids by 6 months to a year. And she was advanced for her age. So while she was learning some social skills, she was bored with learning letters and numbers (in fact, she is still bored with learning letters and numbers in Kindergarten at almost 6-years-old).
This year, my neighbor invited me to join a preschool co-op for Joseph. This is basically the same story, that we joined for the social aspect. We had just moved, and I thought it would be a good way to make friends. Again, Joseph is so much older than the other kids and advanced for his age.
There were four moms, and five kids. The mom with twins was the initiator and leader. When she met with me to discuss the group, she said she would be taking double turns since she has two kids.
It turns out that she never scheduled herself for double turns. I felt a little taken advantage of. I probably wouldn't have minded if she had told me from the beginning that she wouldn't be taking double turns. But that's not what she said, so it became immediately obvious that she was in this to gain some free babysitting. Then she would regularly drop her kids off early and pick them up late. This just confirmed my frustration of being used. And I saw her do the same thing to the other women in the co-op. I might not have minded the extra minutes (or half hours) of watching her kids if she had taken double turns, and if she could have called in advance to let me know her plans.
Another kid is 2.5. I disagree, wholeheartedly, that 2-year-olds should go to preschool, let alone that she is a whole year younger than Joseph. And she is really naughty.
I was also frustrated that two of the parents lived in another city. It is just far enough that it's hard to justify coming all the way home between dropping off and picking up. One day I could do all my shopping, no problem. The next day, it was a struggle to find something to do when I really needed to be getting chores done at home. And then I felt like anything I could do to entertain Savanna and Isaac, meant that Joseph was missing out on that particular activity because I was unlikely to do it again that week.
And my last argument is that when we started, Joseph was the only one potty-trained. I don't think kids in diapers should go to preschool. Daycare, maybe, but not preschool. I'm sorry if I am offending anyone with my opinions on this matter, but I don't think it's right for me to be expected to change four kids during the length of preschool. I just think potty-training should be a prerequisite to attending preschool.
So I quit. I felt that my anger and frustration each week were not worth the effort.
I plan to continue preschool with Joseph at home. This way we will have the flexibility to take "field trips" that he won't miss out on. It will also free up a lot of time to get my regular chores done (I was struggling to keep up). And as far as learning social skills, brothers and sisters are good for that.
I wish there was a way to cooperate or barter with less frustration. It seems that only green bills speak to complete fairness in an exchange. Or maybe not complete fairness, but some kind of fairness.
When Caleb was in Kindergarten, I tried to do a carpool with two ladies. One of them was consistently late, and then finally just didn't show up one day. The other lady used the carpool as a reward/punishment for her own child, so she was unreliable.
Recently, I started teaching piano lessons to two kids in exchange for regular babysitting. I've taught three or four times, but I've only had an hour of babysitting in return.
And then there was preschool. I'm not completely opposed to preschool, but I have a few objections all the same. My first and main objection is that kids go to school when they're five. I like to keep them with me as long as possible (and then gladly wave goodbye when it's time for Kindergarten). My second objection has to do with the ages and personalities of my own children. When Caleb was little, we never did any form of preschool, except at home. When he started Kindergarten, he was one of the youngest in his class. Also one of the most advanced: when he was three, he wrote "CALEB DORE" in permanent marker on my mom's bathroom door.
When Savanna was little, we were invited to be in a preschool co-op. We joined, more for the social aspect (both for her and for me). Unfortunately, Savanna was older than the other kids by 6 months to a year. And she was advanced for her age. So while she was learning some social skills, she was bored with learning letters and numbers (in fact, she is still bored with learning letters and numbers in Kindergarten at almost 6-years-old).
This year, my neighbor invited me to join a preschool co-op for Joseph. This is basically the same story, that we joined for the social aspect. We had just moved, and I thought it would be a good way to make friends. Again, Joseph is so much older than the other kids and advanced for his age.
There were four moms, and five kids. The mom with twins was the initiator and leader. When she met with me to discuss the group, she said she would be taking double turns since she has two kids.
It turns out that she never scheduled herself for double turns. I felt a little taken advantage of. I probably wouldn't have minded if she had told me from the beginning that she wouldn't be taking double turns. But that's not what she said, so it became immediately obvious that she was in this to gain some free babysitting. Then she would regularly drop her kids off early and pick them up late. This just confirmed my frustration of being used. And I saw her do the same thing to the other women in the co-op. I might not have minded the extra minutes (or half hours) of watching her kids if she had taken double turns, and if she could have called in advance to let me know her plans.
Another kid is 2.5. I disagree, wholeheartedly, that 2-year-olds should go to preschool, let alone that she is a whole year younger than Joseph. And she is really naughty.
I was also frustrated that two of the parents lived in another city. It is just far enough that it's hard to justify coming all the way home between dropping off and picking up. One day I could do all my shopping, no problem. The next day, it was a struggle to find something to do when I really needed to be getting chores done at home. And then I felt like anything I could do to entertain Savanna and Isaac, meant that Joseph was missing out on that particular activity because I was unlikely to do it again that week.
And my last argument is that when we started, Joseph was the only one potty-trained. I don't think kids in diapers should go to preschool. Daycare, maybe, but not preschool. I'm sorry if I am offending anyone with my opinions on this matter, but I don't think it's right for me to be expected to change four kids during the length of preschool. I just think potty-training should be a prerequisite to attending preschool.
So I quit. I felt that my anger and frustration each week were not worth the effort.
I plan to continue preschool with Joseph at home. This way we will have the flexibility to take "field trips" that he won't miss out on. It will also free up a lot of time to get my regular chores done (I was struggling to keep up). And as far as learning social skills, brothers and sisters are good for that.
I wish there was a way to cooperate or barter with less frustration. It seems that only green bills speak to complete fairness in an exchange. Or maybe not complete fairness, but some kind of fairness.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Progress
I was not carded for the cough medicine I bought today.
Which means I no longer look like I'm 16. I'm at least 21!
:)
Which means I no longer look like I'm 16. I'm at least 21!
:)
Friday, October 5, 2012
Advice
Many of you know that I don't ask for advice very often. (I give it often, probably unwanted most of the time. Sorry about that.) I like to figure things out for myself, and I probably want to appear capable. Both of those things stem from the anxiety, I think. No one wants to look like a fool, but with anxiety, I desperately don't want to look like a fool. I can think of a few times when I was the fool. (Okay, I'm going on a tangent here; bear with me, I will get to the point.)
Once, I said something in front of a choir of 100 people, and it came out wrong, and they all laughed. And it still took me another minute to figure out why they thought it was so funny. I was completely humiliated. And they couldn't let me live it down for a long time.
And another time, I attempted to join an aerobics class. I have never been coordinated (or maybe I'm so afraid of looking like a fool, that I have not practiced enough to be coordinated). I couldn't get some of the moves, and I kept losing my balance. And a few people laughed at me, so I quit. I know how I tend to perceive people who are tone-deaf. And I just can't stand being perceived in the same way with regards to body movement. It makes me sick to my stomach, and it makes me want to cry. (Yes, we are talking desperate in the form of a mild panic attack.)
So, I'm going to ask for advice, at the risk of looking like a complete fool. Because as regards beauty and beauty products, I am tragically uninformed. So for those of you who have longed to give me a makeover, here is your virtual chance.
Here is my situation: I have dry skin around my eyes. I suspect it is psoriasis or eczema. When washing my face, I have to rub my eyes a fair amount to remove all the make up. If I don't rub it off with soap, it won't come off all the way; so then I end up rubbing even harder with a towel. (I even tried makeup removing wipes, but their texture was still too rough.) This perpetuates the original problem. If I don't wear makeup for several days, it improves. I apply lotion to my skin twice a day. So, first, is there a super-gentle makeup remover in existence? And second, is there a better moisturizer for the skin around my eyes?
I'm hoping to try over-the-counter products before I seek help from a dermatologist. Thanks!
Once, I said something in front of a choir of 100 people, and it came out wrong, and they all laughed. And it still took me another minute to figure out why they thought it was so funny. I was completely humiliated. And they couldn't let me live it down for a long time.
And another time, I attempted to join an aerobics class. I have never been coordinated (or maybe I'm so afraid of looking like a fool, that I have not practiced enough to be coordinated). I couldn't get some of the moves, and I kept losing my balance. And a few people laughed at me, so I quit. I know how I tend to perceive people who are tone-deaf. And I just can't stand being perceived in the same way with regards to body movement. It makes me sick to my stomach, and it makes me want to cry. (Yes, we are talking desperate in the form of a mild panic attack.)
So, I'm going to ask for advice, at the risk of looking like a complete fool. Because as regards beauty and beauty products, I am tragically uninformed. So for those of you who have longed to give me a makeover, here is your virtual chance.
Here is my situation: I have dry skin around my eyes. I suspect it is psoriasis or eczema. When washing my face, I have to rub my eyes a fair amount to remove all the make up. If I don't rub it off with soap, it won't come off all the way; so then I end up rubbing even harder with a towel. (I even tried makeup removing wipes, but their texture was still too rough.) This perpetuates the original problem. If I don't wear makeup for several days, it improves. I apply lotion to my skin twice a day. So, first, is there a super-gentle makeup remover in existence? And second, is there a better moisturizer for the skin around my eyes?
I'm hoping to try over-the-counter products before I seek help from a dermatologist. Thanks!
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Ooltewah
O! O!
L! T!
EWAH!
Ooltewah!
Ever heard of it? I'll give you a hint: It means "owl's nest." No?
I grew up in Chattanooga, Tennessee. My family moved there when I was 8, and I moved out when I was 18.
I went to Ooltewah Intermediate School, Ooltewah Middle School, and Ooltewah High School.
After I moved out, my parents moved about a mile and half away to Ooltewah-Ringgold Rd, which is in the census-designated place called Ooltewah. (Ringgold is in Georgia, about a mile and a half from where my parents lived [I've heard rumors that Dolly Parton was married in the little white chapel on the main street in Ringgold].)
My parents have since moved again, and I haven't been back there much since I moved out. I went home for a summer after my freshman year of college. I went back when Bryan met my parents for the first time. We visited occasionally when Bryan was in grad school at UK in Lexington, KY. And I went back for a friend's wedding when I was pregnant with Joseph. Now that my parents have moved, and I don't stay in really good contact with my high school friends, it is just a place "that I used to know."
Recently, Bryan got a new job in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho (if you ever want a great vacation, come visit us!) with Life Care Centers of America. It is based out of Cleveland, Tennessee, believe it or not. Cleveland was part of my stake (geographic grouping of Latter-day Saints) growing up.
Each year, the company holds a conference in Cleveland, and sometimes even invites the spouse to come. (Unfortunately, this year they didn't invite me.) They couldn't fit all the employees in the hotels of Cleveland, so guess where they sent the remainder. Yep: Ooltewah.
My husband is in Ooltewah this week, of all places.
Other claims to fame: Ooltewah is right next to Collegedale. Which is home of the Southern Adventist University and a large Seventh-day Adventist following. Collegedale is also home of McKee Bakery, also known as Little Debbie and Sunbelt. (We always got the deadbread varieties at the bakery thrift store.) Also, Chattanooga was the home of the famous Choo Choo until a lawsuit took it to Georgia (?!). Chattanooga is also home of TVA. It is also a location of the Civil War (Chickamauga Battlefield is in Georgia, and Lookout Mountain is in Tennessee). You can also "See Rock City" on Lookout Mountain. And Chattanooga has also been known as the "buckle" of the Bible belt.
And of course you must be wondering, can I talk like a Tennesseean? Yes. Yes, I ca'an.
L! T!
EWAH!
Ooltewah!
Ever heard of it? I'll give you a hint: It means "owl's nest." No?
I grew up in Chattanooga, Tennessee. My family moved there when I was 8, and I moved out when I was 18.
I went to Ooltewah Intermediate School, Ooltewah Middle School, and Ooltewah High School.
After I moved out, my parents moved about a mile and half away to Ooltewah-Ringgold Rd, which is in the census-designated place called Ooltewah. (Ringgold is in Georgia, about a mile and a half from where my parents lived [I've heard rumors that Dolly Parton was married in the little white chapel on the main street in Ringgold].)
My parents have since moved again, and I haven't been back there much since I moved out. I went home for a summer after my freshman year of college. I went back when Bryan met my parents for the first time. We visited occasionally when Bryan was in grad school at UK in Lexington, KY. And I went back for a friend's wedding when I was pregnant with Joseph. Now that my parents have moved, and I don't stay in really good contact with my high school friends, it is just a place "that I used to know."
Recently, Bryan got a new job in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho (if you ever want a great vacation, come visit us!) with Life Care Centers of America. It is based out of Cleveland, Tennessee, believe it or not. Cleveland was part of my stake (geographic grouping of Latter-day Saints) growing up.
Each year, the company holds a conference in Cleveland, and sometimes even invites the spouse to come. (Unfortunately, this year they didn't invite me.) They couldn't fit all the employees in the hotels of Cleveland, so guess where they sent the remainder. Yep: Ooltewah.
My husband is in Ooltewah this week, of all places.
Other claims to fame: Ooltewah is right next to Collegedale. Which is home of the Southern Adventist University and a large Seventh-day Adventist following. Collegedale is also home of McKee Bakery, also known as Little Debbie and Sunbelt. (We always got the deadbread varieties at the bakery thrift store.) Also, Chattanooga was the home of the famous Choo Choo until a lawsuit took it to Georgia (?!). Chattanooga is also home of TVA. It is also a location of the Civil War (Chickamauga Battlefield is in Georgia, and Lookout Mountain is in Tennessee). You can also "See Rock City" on Lookout Mountain. And Chattanooga has also been known as the "buckle" of the Bible belt.
And of course you must be wondering, can I talk like a Tennesseean? Yes. Yes, I ca'an.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Ode to School
What is this felicity? Ah, I hear sighs of content. I can hear them! Gently trickling forth from my own mouth. Wonderful full-day 3rd grade. Dear afternoon Kindergarten. Sweetest afternoon naps. A smile and a long deep breath for the peace I am to expect for two hours. Shall we rendezvous again tomorrow?
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Boundaries
This week I learned something about myself. It was in a moment of frustration, and my only option (my best option) was to pray. And the Lord revealed to me a piece of my personality that cleared things up, which made it easier to deal with.
First, I like rules. I like to follow rules. Rules are usually for the safety of one or another party, and sometimes for the convenience of one or another party.
Second, I like schedules. I like to have an idea of what to expect in my day. And if something comes up unexpectedly and urgently, I appreciate acknowledgement of my inconvenience.
Third, I like to be communicated with. If someone has an expectation of me, I like to know in advance, and I like to be asked nicely and with a "please."
Basically, I discovered that I like boundaries. It makes me feel safe.
First, I like rules. I like to follow rules. Rules are usually for the safety of one or another party, and sometimes for the convenience of one or another party.
Second, I like schedules. I like to have an idea of what to expect in my day. And if something comes up unexpectedly and urgently, I appreciate acknowledgement of my inconvenience.
Third, I like to be communicated with. If someone has an expectation of me, I like to know in advance, and I like to be asked nicely and with a "please."
Basically, I discovered that I like boundaries. It makes me feel safe.
This is why I also like routines, budgets, organization, advance notice, consistency, personal space, calendars, spreadsheets, clear job descriptions or list of duties, gratitude, punctuality, music, math, 5-year plan, decluttering, stopping at stop signs, proper grammar and punctuation, nice people, good sleep, Tetris, and taking turns.
I am not a confrontational person. Actually, I'm a very opinionated person, but I try to filter what I say so as not to offend others. I'm not always successful, and I hope that you will forgive me for my mistakes.
So this week, my boundaries were breached, it made me really uncomfortable. I knew I was getting too close to my breaking point, so I avoided the situation. I knew a confrontation wouldn't be helpful or fruitful, and might even be detrimental.
I knew that avoidance would be noticed, but I decided that I didn't need to apologize. Not even to myself. I did not need to feel guilty for doing the right thing, which was to avoid a fight. I felt relieved and relaxed, and I was able to enjoy the rest of my vacation.
I see it as finding middle ground for myself. By knowing this about myself, I can clarify what my boundaries are. Then I can know my limits, and I can avoid those things which tend to boil over.
A while back, I went to an LDS Family Counselor to deal with my anxiety and depression. In one of my two sessions, he said something profound:
To thine own self, be good enough.
And that's what I'm doing.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Journal Entry?
I think I can safely assume that the reason no one responded to my interesting post is probably because I haven't written in a while. And because the blog is private, no one knows when it is updated.
I'll try not to assume that it was so uninteresting that people had nothing to say. Which may also be true.
So I guess, for now, I'm just writing for my own benefit. Bryan is out of town. Which means that the hours I usually spend with him are filled instead with blogging, Pinterest, Netflix, and cleaning. The kids are in bed, the laundry is done, the dishes are done, the apartment is picked up.
The apartment has been a challenge. I would liken it unto glorified camping. It is nice to have a functional, if not super small, kitchen. It is nice to have washer and dryer in the apartment. It is nice to have three bedrooms to spread out in. It is nice to have a swamp cooler, except that the cool air is confined to one space. It is nice to have a few channels even without cable; I've been learning a lot about decorating and cooking.
We get our daily exercise just walking out to our covered parking space. We live on the third floor, and it feels like a block to our van.
Isaac has been frustrated with the move. He keeps throwing his beloved blankie out of the crib, I believe so he can get attention following the ear-piercing distress screeching. Tonight, I tied it to the crib. And I'm ignoring the screams; I'm not going to lose three hours of sleep again tonight.
Well, if this gets too long, you won't read it. So goodnight.
I'll try not to assume that it was so uninteresting that people had nothing to say. Which may also be true.
So I guess, for now, I'm just writing for my own benefit. Bryan is out of town. Which means that the hours I usually spend with him are filled instead with blogging, Pinterest, Netflix, and cleaning. The kids are in bed, the laundry is done, the dishes are done, the apartment is picked up.
The apartment has been a challenge. I would liken it unto glorified camping. It is nice to have a functional, if not super small, kitchen. It is nice to have washer and dryer in the apartment. It is nice to have three bedrooms to spread out in. It is nice to have a swamp cooler, except that the cool air is confined to one space. It is nice to have a few channels even without cable; I've been learning a lot about decorating and cooking.
We get our daily exercise just walking out to our covered parking space. We live on the third floor, and it feels like a block to our van.
Isaac has been frustrated with the move. He keeps throwing his beloved blankie out of the crib, I believe so he can get attention following the ear-piercing distress screeching. Tonight, I tied it to the crib. And I'm ignoring the screams; I'm not going to lose three hours of sleep again tonight.
Well, if this gets too long, you won't read it. So goodnight.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Interesting?
Last night, Bryan was writing a letter to his brother who is serving a mission in Ghana. When he was done, he read it out loud to me. Then he asked, is there anything you want to add? Cute things the kids did this week? Anything you want me to say about you? I couldn't come up with anything interesting to share about me, and neither could he. Hm.
Here's something: I applied polish to my toenails on Saturday. Bright red. This is a rare thing for me. This morning Joseph asked why I still had red things on my toes because "they're yucky." But maybe that's something interesting about Joseph, and not me.
I find that the most interesting parts of my day as of late are the kids and the things the kids say and do. And that's really not about me.
I also find that some interesting things about me are the trials I have been experiencing as of late. But they are so personal that I don't feel like I can share them. Interesting, huh? Not so much.
The most interesting things about me are things I used to do but don't necessarily have time for now.
Currently I am interested in restoring old furniture. I've got ideas and aspirations! But I don't have the space to do it. I am also interested in learning how to decorate; but I am waiting until we aren't living in this apartment anymore, which will hopefully be in 3 to 4 weeks. I am also interested in recording music; I have a bunch of songs in mind.
Yesterday, I filled out a new member form for our new ward. They asked me to list callings I've had previously. This is interesting, maybe. I will categorize them for you:
Primary
Teacher
Pianist
2nd Counselor
President
Music Leader
Nursery Music Leader
Young Women
Adviser
Music Leader
Sunday School
Teacher
Team-teacher
Relief Society
2nd Counselor
Music Leader
Other Music
Ward Choir Director
Ward Chorister
Music Chair
So I am curious what my next calling will be. Will it be a repeat, or will it be new to me?
It's also interesting that even though our records haven't been transferred from our old ward, we have already been asked to speak in church in a couple weeks.
I think the things I'm interested in are more interesting than me.
Interesting.
Here's something: I applied polish to my toenails on Saturday. Bright red. This is a rare thing for me. This morning Joseph asked why I still had red things on my toes because "they're yucky." But maybe that's something interesting about Joseph, and not me.
I find that the most interesting parts of my day as of late are the kids and the things the kids say and do. And that's really not about me.
I also find that some interesting things about me are the trials I have been experiencing as of late. But they are so personal that I don't feel like I can share them. Interesting, huh? Not so much.
The most interesting things about me are things I used to do but don't necessarily have time for now.
Currently I am interested in restoring old furniture. I've got ideas and aspirations! But I don't have the space to do it. I am also interested in learning how to decorate; but I am waiting until we aren't living in this apartment anymore, which will hopefully be in 3 to 4 weeks. I am also interested in recording music; I have a bunch of songs in mind.
Yesterday, I filled out a new member form for our new ward. They asked me to list callings I've had previously. This is interesting, maybe. I will categorize them for you:
Primary
Teacher
Pianist
2nd Counselor
President
Music Leader
Nursery Music Leader
Young Women
Adviser
Music Leader
Sunday School
Teacher
Team-teacher
Relief Society
2nd Counselor
Music Leader
Other Music
Ward Choir Director
Ward Chorister
Music Chair
So I am curious what my next calling will be. Will it be a repeat, or will it be new to me?
It's also interesting that even though our records haven't been transferred from our old ward, we have already been asked to speak in church in a couple weeks.
I think the things I'm interested in are more interesting than me.
Interesting.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Post Falls, ID
Surrounded by boxes. In an apartment that was never meant for six people. In Post Falls, Idaho. Waiting for our house to sell in Pullman, Washington. So we can buy a new house in Coeur d'Alene. ASAP. The end.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Just Kidding
We are moving to Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Bryan will be managing a nursing home for Life Care Centers of America. We still have to sell our home, but we are moving into an apartment in a couple of weeks so we can be with Bryan. More details later.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Goodbye and Hello
It's still not official, and many of you know how utterly frustrating that has been. But the change seems likely enough that we are moving forward with our summer plans.
We are probably moving to Bountiful, UT, where Bryan will manage a nursing home. His start date will be June 18th.
We hope to be able to sell our house this summer. In the meantime, I am going on a long vacation for two reasons. One, I don't want to be alone with four children for an extended amount of time. Two, I don't want to have to keep the house clean by myself with four children for the (hopefully) many showings.
So I will be vacationing in Utah until we come back and pack up our things and move permanently.
Which means, it's time to say goodbye. I hope to drive away on June 18th. By myself. With four children. By myself.
Wish me luck. Better yet, pray for me.
We are probably moving to Bountiful, UT, where Bryan will manage a nursing home. His start date will be June 18th.
We hope to be able to sell our house this summer. In the meantime, I am going on a long vacation for two reasons. One, I don't want to be alone with four children for an extended amount of time. Two, I don't want to have to keep the house clean by myself with four children for the (hopefully) many showings.
So I will be vacationing in Utah until we come back and pack up our things and move permanently.
Which means, it's time to say goodbye. I hope to drive away on June 18th. By myself. With four children. By myself.
Wish me luck. Better yet, pray for me.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Hard Work and Workin' Hard
I just wanted to document this day in history because I feel quite certain it won't happen again.
I find it very rewarding to post all our hard work. I'm just sayin'. :D
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| I have been working slavishly for a couple months to get ready to put the house on the market. I feel that without the storage unit, this would have been impossible to accomplish. We just don't live this neatly. Savanna used to sleep in this room too, but a bed and a crib just took up too much space. She now sleeps on the bottom bunk with Joseph, each sleeping perpendicularly. Isaac was ready for bed super early today, so I took this picture first so he could sleep. |
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| This is the boys' room, adding Savanna at night. We don't have a play room any more, so I moved some of the toys into the kids' rooms (in their closets neatly tucked away in bins) and some over to the storage unit. |
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| This is the boy's room closet and bookshelf. These are the only children's books left in the house; the rest are in storage. (It's amazing how the only way to get rid of the bookshelf mess was to get rid of the books.) |
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| Sorry, I don't feel like going back and trying to rotate these pictures. This is my linen closet. It was also seriously decluttered. When it's time for a showing, we will take the laundry hampers with us in the van, and probably some of the baskets will haul other miscellaneous clutter. |
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| This is the kids' bathroom. My friend helped me clean up the sinks, baths, and toilets. The realtor added the flowers and towels. The towel that is going across the top right now will be the hand towel left of the sink, but I found that we couldn't remember to keep our hands off them. This will go to its rightful place only during showings. |
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| Our bedroom has never looked so good. There used to be a desk (and all its clutter) to the left of the bed. The realtor lent us the picture above the bed. Today I bought the end tables (for a good deal) and assembled them during nap time. The pillows used to be on the couch, but the realtor suggested we move them to our bed to add color. I guess I tend to be too monochromatic. |
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| This is the other side of our bedroom. We moved the bench in here and put the mirror (it used to be downstairs) here. The realtor lent me the towels and ceramic stuff, but I did the flowers (I'm so proud of myself!). |
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| This is our closet. It also has never been so organized! And not too much had to go to storage. |
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| Our bathroom. The realtor let me some nice towels. Again, only for decoration. They're too pretty to use. Which goes against every practical bone in my body. |
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| Front room. She let me keep the couches with the covers. I am grateful to not be shelling out $ to rent furniture. She let me borrow the pillows and the "HOME" sign and the basket of sticks in the back corner (what kind of practical use are these???). There's our new (used) electronic piano. There are things I really love about it, and there are things I really miss about the "real thing." |
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| Bryan picked out the picture a few months ago, and it worked really nicely with the colors in the kitchen. (We never changed any of the paint in the house because then I would have had to replace the curtains too--I'm either lazy or practical.) We've had the table for a couple of years; it was on sale. The bowl is mine (it's Portuguese--found it at ROSS), but the fake lemons are hers. |
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| Cleaned this up real good, huh? Usually you can't see the countertop under the clutter. The flowers are mine, the vases in the windowsill are hers. I also removed several yucky screens throughout the house that I will need to replace eventually. I also bought two bar stools at the suggestion of the realtor. |
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| The plant will come down to the floor for showings. The rug was added by the realtor. I made the pillows. She let me keep the couches with the couch covers once again. And again, I'm glad to save my money. And we moved the picture down from the front room. |
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| I'm not even sure if we will be keeping this, but we needed to put something in this space. And the foosball table worked great. I know there's nothing on the walls, but you should see all the fixing and painting we did around the house. |
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| My friend shined this room up really good. During a showing, we will remove the hamper, detergent, wipes, and black bag. |
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| My friend cleaned this pretty well. Last night I stepped in a little puddle of pee, so I had to clean the floors once more. And I can tell there has been some water damage to the floor, but I believe that started before we moved here. We won't be replacing anything, so hopefully it is something the next buyer can live with or fix themselves. |
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| This used to be the play room. We painted the whole thing and cleaned the carpet. We put the two twin beds together to make it a King, per the realtor's suggestion. I think it turned out nicely! Again, nothing on the walls. Oh, well. |
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| We moved the computer stuff down to the storage room, and it fits really nicely in the cubby under the stairs behind the open door. |
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| The other side of the storage room. We moved most of the junk out of here into the storage unit. I did put some toys in here. Again, we just needed something to take up the space. The realtor's first comment to me about the house was that it was really empty. But the stuff I put in storage definitely wasn't helping. |
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| We moved a lot of clutter over to the storage unit. My goal is to show that, indeed, two cars can fit in this garage. Bryan only parks inside during winter, and it's a pretty tight squeeze. But it can be done! |
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| The nice thing about this garage is that it has much overhead shelving. The realtor suggested leaving some of the stuff up there to draw the buyer's attention to all the storage space available. |
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| Our yard is a pretty narrow L-shape. We couldn't even fit a badminton set anywhere, so Bryan took it back. There used to be a shed on the concrete slab, but Bryan sold it. We need to remove the dead grass pile. |
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| This is the back corner of the yard. We need to move the pool, and under it is a sandbox. The kids loved the sandbox, and usually mixed it into the pool during summer. Such a mess! That house you see in the corner is the Bishop's house. We don't see them much, but it has been really convenient on occasion. |
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| This is the other half of the L, directly behind our house. That patio is right off the kitchen, and we usually put the little pool there. |
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| I just wanted to show the hanging plants I bought today. I hope I can keep them alive. Oh, and the house on the far left is where my friend (who helps me clean) lives. She has been wonderful this week. She even took me and the kids out to dinner tonight since Bryan was gone. We celebrated her son's 24th birthday (he is severely mentally retarded, and very sweet). |
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| It's official. The signs went up tonight. And I have to tell you, the yard has never looked better, thanks to Bryan. He has worked many hours out there trying to increase the curb appeal. |
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| I also bought this new welcome mat because my friend (who has been helping me clean) suggested I get a new one. I put the old one on the side patio. |
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| We took the swing down. We added the rocks on the right curve. We have been weeding like crazy (and it shows--many people around here have dandelions instead of grass). Bryan got to use a chain saw for the first time, and removed some of the dead trees on the left. Lucky for us, the tulips are thriving without our help. And the roses will come up in the summer. Note to self: find a new location for the garbage cans. |
I find it very rewarding to post all our hard work. I'm just sayin'. :D
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Some Gratitude, Please?
It was one of those days.
On top of all my normal mommy duties, my day was scheduled to add two visiting teaching appointments and taking dinner to a family in the ward.
Then, Sarah (names have been changed to protect the (not-so) innocent) called to ask me a "huge favor." Her daughter, whom I used to teach in Young Women, needed to perform a piano piece in two days. She had been practicing, but some parts were really hard, and she needed to shorten the performance to a prescribed amount of time. The only problem was that she couldn't just shorten it because there was a significant key change before the end. They needed someone to transpose the music, pronto. They thought it should only be 8-10 measures of music, and I agreed to the job, thinking it would take me half and hour or so.
Now, some background. Sarah's daughter never liked me. I tried to be her friend, I prayed for her, I backed off, I gave her space. Sometimes, if she was in a good mood, the glares would disappear.
So Sarah brought over the music, expecting me to have it finished by dinnertime. I thought, what a great opportunity to serve this young women, and maybe win some points with her (even though I don't teach her anymore)!
Once I got into the music, I realized that I didn't know exactly how she wanted it cut and pasted together. So I put the boys down for an early nap and set Savanna up on the TV so I could concentrate. I figured that if I just went ahead and transposed that last 2.5 pages (closer to 30 measures), then the young woman could cut and paste exactly how she wanted and not be mad at me. With that in mind, I set forth on a journey that ended up taking me about 4 hours (in my already hectic day) because the music was rather complicated. I transposed it like a perfectionist, to make sure the music looked exactly the same as the original, just in a new key. I didn't want the girl to have any reason to be mad at me, since I knew I was already walking on eggshells.
Two days later, I attended the event where the girl was to perform. She did not even play the piece.
I want my four hours back! was my immediate response. I tried to have Christian thoughts, like It was too stressful to learn the transposition in such a short time. And, I need to love and serve no matter whether I am appreciated. And Maybe someday she will understand the sacrifice I made for her, but I need to let this go.
I am fairly certain I will never receive a thank you card. And I am almost as certain that she will never appreciate my sacrifices on her behalf.
But if she had just played the blasted song, I would have felt appreciated. And if she couldn't do that, a thank you card would have been enough. Just a little acknowledgement from either mother or daughter would do the trick. I have heard nothing from either.
And she still avoids eye contact with me.
My solace is that "When ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God." And I know that He appreciates my effort.
But it's still hard.
On top of all my normal mommy duties, my day was scheduled to add two visiting teaching appointments and taking dinner to a family in the ward.
Then, Sarah (names have been changed to protect the (not-so) innocent) called to ask me a "huge favor." Her daughter, whom I used to teach in Young Women, needed to perform a piano piece in two days. She had been practicing, but some parts were really hard, and she needed to shorten the performance to a prescribed amount of time. The only problem was that she couldn't just shorten it because there was a significant key change before the end. They needed someone to transpose the music, pronto. They thought it should only be 8-10 measures of music, and I agreed to the job, thinking it would take me half and hour or so.
Now, some background. Sarah's daughter never liked me. I tried to be her friend, I prayed for her, I backed off, I gave her space. Sometimes, if she was in a good mood, the glares would disappear.
So Sarah brought over the music, expecting me to have it finished by dinnertime. I thought, what a great opportunity to serve this young women, and maybe win some points with her (even though I don't teach her anymore)!
Once I got into the music, I realized that I didn't know exactly how she wanted it cut and pasted together. So I put the boys down for an early nap and set Savanna up on the TV so I could concentrate. I figured that if I just went ahead and transposed that last 2.5 pages (closer to 30 measures), then the young woman could cut and paste exactly how she wanted and not be mad at me. With that in mind, I set forth on a journey that ended up taking me about 4 hours (in my already hectic day) because the music was rather complicated. I transposed it like a perfectionist, to make sure the music looked exactly the same as the original, just in a new key. I didn't want the girl to have any reason to be mad at me, since I knew I was already walking on eggshells.
Two days later, I attended the event where the girl was to perform. She did not even play the piece.
I want my four hours back! was my immediate response. I tried to have Christian thoughts, like It was too stressful to learn the transposition in such a short time. And, I need to love and serve no matter whether I am appreciated. And Maybe someday she will understand the sacrifice I made for her, but I need to let this go.
I am fairly certain I will never receive a thank you card. And I am almost as certain that she will never appreciate my sacrifices on her behalf.
But if she had just played the blasted song, I would have felt appreciated. And if she couldn't do that, a thank you card would have been enough. Just a little acknowledgement from either mother or daughter would do the trick. I have heard nothing from either.
And she still avoids eye contact with me.
My solace is that "When ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God." And I know that He appreciates my effort.
But it's still hard.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Efficiency
Fill the tub. Send 7-year-old to shower in another bathroom. Put 3 kids in tub. Wash, rinse. Wash, rinse. Wash, rinse. Dry, diaper, dress 1-year-old. Dry 5-year-old, send her to get dressed. Dry, diaper, dress 3-year-old. 7-year-old takes care of himself. Done and done.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Helicopter Parenting
Recently I noticed a headline about extreme helicopter parenting: Should infants wear helmets when they initiate mobility?
It got me to thinking: what are some life skills kids need to learn (that helicopter parents deprive them of)?
Life Skill #1: Sleeping. Kids need to learn how to sleep. A few nights of cry-it-out may make you lose sleep (and hurt your feelings), but the gains over time are worth the effort. Part of this process is allowing the kid to learn how to soothe himself. Which brings me to my next point.
Life Skill #2: Self-soothing. If the parent always soothes the child, the child will expect to be soothed every time something disagreeable happens. Kids are smart; they will become lazy (on purpose). Now, I'm not saying you should ignore or neglect your child, and there are certainly times when mama's kiss or hug is the only thing that works.
Life Skill #3: This one is along the same vein as number two: Self-entertaining. (Again, not saying to neglect.) I just imagine that if it was my responsibility to entertain my child 100% of their awake time, I would never get anything else done. And I imagine that my entertainment could easily need to get bigger and better (and impossible). And thank goodness I have an imagination, because I bet I wouldn't if my mother had entertained me all the time. (An aside: I'm not saying you should ignore your children. Sometimes they need to be shown how to play. But there should be enough time set aside for them to play alone or with each other to allow for creative play.)
Life Skill #4: Crawling and toddling (without the helmet). Kids learn about the world by discovering. They need to be allowed to "get into things" so they can learn! A baby with a helmet might struggle to learn about gravity, while a kid with a good bonk will learn to be more careful next time.
Life Skill #5: Cleaning up after oneself. His roommates will thank you later. And it can start as simple as having him help put the toys away. When he's older, he can put shoes away and hang up his own coat. And he can put his own dishes in the sink. Mommy won't always be there to help, so kids need to be independent in this way. And I hope that it will translate to messes they make emotionally and in their future relationships. Kids need to take responsibility, as they become developmentally capable.
I could go on, but I think I need to repeat one statement. Mommy won't always be there to help. In other words, what things do I need to teach so that my kids will be successful when I'm not there to help? I think the greatest measure of success in parenting is that my kids know that I love them, and a close second is that they can leave the nest and be successful without me.
I can't be a helicopter parent with four children so close together. But I don't think I'd want to anyway.
It got me to thinking: what are some life skills kids need to learn (that helicopter parents deprive them of)?
Life Skill #1: Sleeping. Kids need to learn how to sleep. A few nights of cry-it-out may make you lose sleep (and hurt your feelings), but the gains over time are worth the effort. Part of this process is allowing the kid to learn how to soothe himself. Which brings me to my next point.
Life Skill #2: Self-soothing. If the parent always soothes the child, the child will expect to be soothed every time something disagreeable happens. Kids are smart; they will become lazy (on purpose). Now, I'm not saying you should ignore or neglect your child, and there are certainly times when mama's kiss or hug is the only thing that works.
Life Skill #3: This one is along the same vein as number two: Self-entertaining. (Again, not saying to neglect.) I just imagine that if it was my responsibility to entertain my child 100% of their awake time, I would never get anything else done. And I imagine that my entertainment could easily need to get bigger and better (and impossible). And thank goodness I have an imagination, because I bet I wouldn't if my mother had entertained me all the time. (An aside: I'm not saying you should ignore your children. Sometimes they need to be shown how to play. But there should be enough time set aside for them to play alone or with each other to allow for creative play.)
Life Skill #4: Crawling and toddling (without the helmet). Kids learn about the world by discovering. They need to be allowed to "get into things" so they can learn! A baby with a helmet might struggle to learn about gravity, while a kid with a good bonk will learn to be more careful next time.
Life Skill #5: Cleaning up after oneself. His roommates will thank you later. And it can start as simple as having him help put the toys away. When he's older, he can put shoes away and hang up his own coat. And he can put his own dishes in the sink. Mommy won't always be there to help, so kids need to be independent in this way. And I hope that it will translate to messes they make emotionally and in their future relationships. Kids need to take responsibility, as they become developmentally capable.
I could go on, but I think I need to repeat one statement. Mommy won't always be there to help. In other words, what things do I need to teach so that my kids will be successful when I'm not there to help? I think the greatest measure of success in parenting is that my kids know that I love them, and a close second is that they can leave the nest and be successful without me.
I can't be a helicopter parent with four children so close together. But I don't think I'd want to anyway.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Punctual, yes. Early? No thanks.
I used to have anxiety.
Well, I still do, but now I have tools to deal with it.
Life is great!
I used to feel an urgency to be early to everything because walking in late would mean people would be watching me.
Then, there was Stake Conference. Last year, we arrived early. We still didn't get a good seat, and then we had to entertain our kids for the extra time. On top of the already two hours they would need to sit still. Thbbbpt.
So this year, we got wiser. As long as we could get there before the meeting started, no one would judge us for being late. We still got the bad seats, but we saved the effort of the extra time.
And I was still in the hallway most of the time with the one-year-old.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Shout Out to My Valentine
I'm not a big V-day lover, but I'm also no hater.
I think Bryan and I have been apart for more than one Valentine's Day. This is one. He had to make a business trip, and I will be traveling 333 miles with 4 kids to meet up with him tomorrow.
But I'm missing him tonight. When he's not here, I can't unload all my thoughts onto him. It's hard to fall asleep. Or, more accurately, it's hard to get motivated to sleep. Bryan is a main element of my winding-down process.
Ice cream doesn't taste as good. Tetris isn't as fun. My bed isn't as warm. The steady breathing of my best friend doesn't lull me into secure sleep.
I feel bad for all the people in the world who do not have a Bryan in their lives.
Goodnight, sweetheart.
Monday, February 13, 2012
All Talk, No Walk
When I took Isaac to the pediatrician recently, the doctor was surprised when I claimed that Isaac knows 15 to 20 words. That is the vocabulary, he said, of an eighteen-month old or even a two-year-old. I wanted to be sure that I wasn't exaggerating, so I went home and wrote down his words. At the time, I could think of 15. And he gained at least 5 more in the following week. This proud mama kids you not. Here are some of them:
Untitled from Brianne Lindsay on Vimeo.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Baby Babble
Isaac loves to test out his tongue and lips in an endeavor to speak. Have I told you that language development is my favorite? I tried to get it on video, but he almost always stops the cuteness right before I start recording. Sometimes it almost sounds like he is singing parts of the alphabet. Especially, "E, F, G." Well, we just missed it again in this video, so you'll just have to take my word for it until next time. But Ikey is still so cute. I love my one-year-old!
Untitled from Brianne Lindsay on Vimeo.
Untitled from Brianne Lindsay on Vimeo.
Pretending
Something I really love about Joseph is that he is good at pretending. I particularly love the different voices he uses for each character. Enjoy!
Untitled from Brianne Lindsay on Vimeo.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
One about Savanna, and one about Isaac
This morning, Savanna was online at The Friend. She played a game where you fill in the blank to complete the Article of Faith. She decided to write down the first Article of Faith by hand. Later she told me she was going to take it to Primary. (She has a history of asking me to take things to Primary; usually I say "No" because it is something that could distract her or others.) I figured this Article of Faith paper couldn't hurt anyone, so I said she could take it. During Opening Exercises, lo and behold, Savanna gets up and gives the Article of Faith. Bryan and I were not able to determine whether or not she had been asked previously. We believe she was chosen on the spot because she was prepared. That's my girl!
And here is a little Isaac for your viewing pleasure at almost a year old:
And here is a little Isaac for your viewing pleasure at almost a year old:
Untitled from Brianne Lindsay on Vimeo.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Latest
We played a G-rated version of Murder in the Dark with the kids. I'm sure we didn't even tell them the real name of the game. If you drew the white ring, you were the Winker; you try to wink at other people, making them fall asleep, without getting caught by other players. Here are some of the Winkers:
Savanna
Caleb
Joseph
Isaac is helping in the kitchen.
It's the Little Boys' turn to play MarioKart.
Joseph and Isaac
Savanna tried to convince me that this was a very comfortable box to sleep in. The top is resting on the edge of the couch.
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