Toward the end of 2nd grade, my family moved to Kernersville, NC. My parents, my three siblings, and I lived in the large loft area of my great uncle Terry's house. All six of us. In one room. Two things I remember specifically about those four months were first, that I got chicken pox first and generously gave it to all my siblings. And second, I remember watching the old black and white movie The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. I only vaguely remember what it was about, but I have never forgotten the title.
Years later, when I was still pretty fresh into motherhood, I remember having a very strong feeling of inadequacy. This is hard, I don't know what I'm doing, how can I make sure I do the right things for my kids, and on and on. When I took the matter to my Heavenly Father in prayer, I felt a very clear reassurance through the Holy Spirit that God had given me my children because he knew exactly what they needed. That my own personal gifts and talents would help to mold them into what He wanted them to be.
And now, fast-forward to today. I'm experiencing some of those same feelings of inadequacy, but on a larger scale. And in my pondering, it came to me that it is not just my own personal gifts and talents that mold my children. My sins and weaknesses do too.
You see, I believe that God is omniscient. He knows everything, including, but not limited to, what I'm going to do and what I'm not going to do. In no way does he force me to do anything, he just knows. And that knowledge, I believe, allows Him to orchestrate certain parts of our lives to our benefit. I believe that "[His] work and [His] glory [is] to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:39). If we turn to Him, if we ask for help, He can give us blessings beyond our understanding.
So, yes, he sent my children to me; the good, the bad, and the ugly. He knew that my strengths would add to my children's experience. But He also knew that my weaknesses would add to my children's experience. He knows what struggles my children will need to have (sometimes because of me) not only to develop into the people He wants them to be, but also to have to learn how to turn to Him and our, Savior, Jesus Christ, when life is tough. And it is one of my goals (and therefore, a personal strength?) to teach my children about Them. I'm trying not to make horrible mistakes, but when I do slip up, I admit it to my children. I ask for their forgiveness. What better way to teach them about the forgiveness Christ offers?
So, Good? Bad? Ugly? It's all good.
