I have been putting this off because it seems impossible to create a succinct, meaningful blog post about a person with whom you have spent every day for over 10 years of your life.
Bryan and I met at Marketing Ally, a telemarketing job that we both despised. I was working there because it was easy to get a job, and it was an easy job. Bryan worked there because he needed a job where he could take a load off his stress-fractured femur. He asked me out the day before he quit his job, just in case I would say no. :)
He figured he had one chance, so he planned a creative date. I was impressed with each part of the date. First, he made dinner. We had squash from his parents' garden and lasagna . Then we fed the ducks while we waited for the outdoor play to start. He rented chairs so we wouldn't have to sit on the ground, and he brought Twizzlers. I don't really like Twizzlers, but it was a sweet thought. The play was a "Rock Opera." It was a jazzed-up version of the operetta The Mikado. I had performed scenes from this particular operetta in high school. After the entertainment we went back to his apartment where he made Oreo milkshakes. At this point in the night, his roommates started bragging about him. It turns out that he was a very talented runner, one of the best on the BYU Track and Cross Country teams.
First, I was impressed that he could cook. Second, I was impressed that he was frugal (something that might not impress every woman, but it worked for me!). He was really easy to talk to, which is really saying something for me (anxiety reference here). Third, I was impressed that he had researched the operetta so that he could be knowledgeable about it, which meant quite a bit of forethought to the date. Which I, of course, appreciated. Again, with the milkshakes, I was impressed that he made them and saved money in the process. Fourth, I was impressed that he was concerned for my comfort during the date. And lastly, I was impressed with his humility when his roommates brought up his abilities. And it was at that time that I noticed the muscles on his arms, sneaking out of the bottom of his sleeves. :)
After that, I really appreciated his direct approach (also very good for me). There were never games. If he felt like calling me, he did. If he wanted to see me, he came by. If he wanted to go out with me again, he called. It was always easy to talk to him, and we always had a good time. It didn't take too long for us to fall in love. We started dating at the end of August 2002 and were engaged by the end of October 2002. We were married on January 17, 2003 because it was a holiday weekend. We were married on a Friday, honeymooned Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, and were back in class on Tuesday.
Bryan's Stake President offered us some advice: start the habit of reading scriptures and saying prayers together immediately, go to church together (we went to church in Zion's National Park), and have Family Home Evening together (we started on Monday). Those habits have blessed our marriage tremendously through the years.
Bryan is a very motivated person. You have never seen someone set goals and reach them as well as Bryan. He is the kind of person that knows what it takes to succeed. He works hard and he stays focused. He always has a plan. Bryan was captain of the Track and Cross-Country teams his senior year. He took 2nd place in the 1500m at the NCAA Championships in 2005, with an equivalent of a 3:55 mile.
He was signed with New Balance to run professionally following graduation. He did that for a year, while I finished my degree. He was even able to run some European races in the summer. In the fall, we decided to move on to grad school at the University of Kentucky while he continued running for New Balance. Eventually he became injured, and had to end his professional running career. But I think we always knew that we needed to have a Plan B, and in some ways the running career was the Plan B. He finished his Masters in Health Administration with top grades and top honors. He was asked to speak at his graduation.
During his last year of grad school, he began searching for jobs. He was recruited by Avalon Health Care Group to be an Administrator-in-Training. He was able to shadow a nursing home administrator for a year and still get paid for it. Then they placed him as the administrator of the nursing home in Pullman, WA. He had that job for three years and was able to do some great things. Eventually he felt boxed in because the job in Pullman really had no room for growth. He started researching other options, and now has a job with Life Care Centers of America in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.
Bryan is the type of person who just attracts people. He is a true diplomat, and he makes friends wherever he goes. He even turns potential enemies into friends with his powers of soothing. He really excels at what he does, but you would never expect less from this man.
Bryan is funny. He is always looking for something to laugh about. He is always trying to make me smile, even resorting to what he calls "dancing." :)
Bryan has a kind heart. He is always serving me. He loves to play with his kids. He works hard so that he can provide a nice life for his family. He is always trying to improve himself and be an even better man.
I really love him. He is an awesome husband and father. We are close. We are best friends. We love playing "house" together. He makes me happy. I am truly blessed to have this man in my life.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Friday, March 8, 2013
XI. BYU Experience
I lived off-campus my freshman year, instead of the dorms, to save money. Because my parents and I were only vaguely familiar with the area, we didn't choose the most suitable place for an 18-year-old. I lived in a very old house with 7 other girls. Most of them were quite a bit older than me. My room-roommate was a very disturbed, mentally unstable person. I didn't have a car, so I had to rely on the kindness and mercy of others to go grocery shopping. And I walked everywhere else. I walked to school, I walked to church (which was usually some random building on campus), and I walked to work. There are very limited opportunities for employment in Provo, so I started working at a telemarketing place near my house (and did so on-and-off until I met my husband there). Luckily, I earned scholarships, and I had saved some money. So my parents only had to help with some of my expenses. The nice thing about BYU is that it is subsidized a great deal by tithing from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. So I got an awesome education for an awesome price.
As I said before, I went home during the following summer. I got a job as a cashier at Wal-Mart.
I moved into another very old house with my sister Sharley the following year, just a bit closer to campus. It was a dump. During our time there, the roof collapsed over the lean-to laundry room, and the house started on fire just as my roommate was returning from Christmas vacation. Luckily (?), the damage was minimal, and we were able to continue living there. That year, I also joined the BYU Concert Choir. We went on tour through the northwestern states in early spring; it was the only tour we ever attempted during my time there.
That summer, I moved in with my grandma for a few weeks until I could find an apartment. I found one a little closer to campus, hoping that I might be able to stay during the Fall semester. It didn't work out, so I was on the hunt for another apartment again. I found something just south of campus (even closer than before) in which I could have a private room at a great price. I think I would have been happy with that apartment for a long time, if I hadn't gotten married. I was able to sell my contract to my sister Sharley the next semester.
When you apply for BYU, and each year thereafter, you have to sign a contract (also endorsed by an ecclesiastical leader) that you will keep and have kept the BYU Honor Code. Some highlights of this code are strict curfews, complete honesty, no alcohol or drugs, and no premarital sex. Actually, for most people (including me), it didn't feel restrictive since we already obeyed these laws.
Although my mother had taught me a great deal about cooking and cleaning, and even though I was a really good student, it took time learning how to take care of and motivate myself. Each year, I spent more and more time at school studying (since I learned that studying at home was less effective). And each year I put a little more effort into feeding myself properly.
Once I got married, my eyes were opened to a whole different side of BYU, namely the athletic side. I started visiting buildings I didn't even know existed before. And I continued to walk everywhere. I have never been athletic myself, but I'm pretty sure I was in the best shape of my life while I was at BYU because I was walking so much!
Once we were married, Bryan and I were on our own financially (and rightly so!). We each had decent scholarships, we were able to get Pell grants, we had jobs during the summer, and we eventually had to get student loans to cover our living expenses. How in the world did we survive? Only the Lord knows.
I'm sure I could go on forever about my experience at college, but I will be satisfied with the highlights. I kept a pretty good journal during that time, so my children will be able to read more details if they wish.
As I said before, I went home during the following summer. I got a job as a cashier at Wal-Mart.
I moved into another very old house with my sister Sharley the following year, just a bit closer to campus. It was a dump. During our time there, the roof collapsed over the lean-to laundry room, and the house started on fire just as my roommate was returning from Christmas vacation. Luckily (?), the damage was minimal, and we were able to continue living there. That year, I also joined the BYU Concert Choir. We went on tour through the northwestern states in early spring; it was the only tour we ever attempted during my time there.
That summer, I moved in with my grandma for a few weeks until I could find an apartment. I found one a little closer to campus, hoping that I might be able to stay during the Fall semester. It didn't work out, so I was on the hunt for another apartment again. I found something just south of campus (even closer than before) in which I could have a private room at a great price. I think I would have been happy with that apartment for a long time, if I hadn't gotten married. I was able to sell my contract to my sister Sharley the next semester.
When you apply for BYU, and each year thereafter, you have to sign a contract (also endorsed by an ecclesiastical leader) that you will keep and have kept the BYU Honor Code. Some highlights of this code are strict curfews, complete honesty, no alcohol or drugs, and no premarital sex. Actually, for most people (including me), it didn't feel restrictive since we already obeyed these laws.
Although my mother had taught me a great deal about cooking and cleaning, and even though I was a really good student, it took time learning how to take care of and motivate myself. Each year, I spent more and more time at school studying (since I learned that studying at home was less effective). And each year I put a little more effort into feeding myself properly.
Once I got married, my eyes were opened to a whole different side of BYU, namely the athletic side. I started visiting buildings I didn't even know existed before. And I continued to walk everywhere. I have never been athletic myself, but I'm pretty sure I was in the best shape of my life while I was at BYU because I was walking so much!
Once we were married, Bryan and I were on our own financially (and rightly so!). We each had decent scholarships, we were able to get Pell grants, we had jobs during the summer, and we eventually had to get student loans to cover our living expenses. How in the world did we survive? Only the Lord knows.
I'm sure I could go on forever about my experience at college, but I will be satisfied with the highlights. I kept a pretty good journal during that time, so my children will be able to read more details if they wish.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
X. Boyfriends
I think it appropriate that this topic chronologically falls on Roman Numeral X.
I remember having crushes on boys since Kindergarten, a different boy each week that I would marry someday.
I became increasingly shy over the years. I went from announcing to the whole class, "I have a crush on so-and-so," to never speaking to the boy I had a crush on. Too many boys never even knew I existed, and I certainly didn't help them along.
So I will define a boyfriend as someone with whom I had mutual interest, to the point of some sort of exclusivity.
1. I was sixteen when I started dating my first "boyfriend" Jared. He was the first boy to hold my hand. At some point, he even told me he loved me. I regretted it at the time, but I responded with, "You don't even know me." And it was true, he didn't! Now I look back and congratulate myself, saying, "Good girl! That's right!" When he finally got around to kissing me for the first and last time, our mutual interest was waning. Soon after, on the day of my birthday party actually, we really talked for the first time. What you have to understand is that we barely ever saw one another, and we didn't talk. I'm not sure what we did, actually. Seems rather boring now. So we finally had a DTR (Define the Relationship) for the first time that night, and we finally talked that night. He hadn't felt "fireworks" when he kissed me (it was a peck). So it was over. Soon after, he started taking out my brother's old girlfriend. That was probably when Dallon and I really bonded for the first time (haha!).
2. I met John when I was in 10th grade, I think. He was a year younger than me: much closer to my little sister's age. I would say that John was my first real boyfriend. We had a great friendship long before we started dating. It was a difficult decision for me to start dating him though, because I had always been taught to date within my faith (so that I could get married in the temple someday, among other reasons). John wasn't really active in any religion. I finally started dating him, and eventually he joined the Church. He and I shared a lot of friends; and he was really close to my family, especially Dallon. Then I went away to college, and he stayed behind. That's when things got tough. I spent a lot of hours talking to him on the phone on the weekends. When I went home for Christmas, he proposed to me. I think it was meant to be more of a "promise ring," but we had long-term plans to get married after he went on a mission. That's when things started falling apart. I went back to school, and he started making some bad choices. I couldn't believe what I was hearing from my sister Sharley, who was still in classes with him at the high school. I also found out that he had stopped going to church. I talked to him on the phone about it. I told him I was going to take off my ring for a while, until he was ready to try again. During the summer, I went home to visit again. Oh, how I hoped he would be ready to get back together! But, oh, the crushing disappointment to find out he really didn't want to anymore. He had been going out with other girls, he had wrecked a car or two, he had tried drugs and alcohol, and he was into pornography. It was not meant to be. We had dated for about two years.
By the time I got to college, I was a serial first-dater. I got a lot of first dates, but not a lot of second dates. I think it was because I was so shy that guys interpreted that to mean that I wasn't interested. But there were a few that I went out with more than once.
3. I met Eric through a mutual voice teacher at BYU. We sang a duet together in a recital, and then we started going out. Eric was a bit awkward. He drove from Indiana to Tennessee to visit me one summer. We had held hands, and we had kissed, I think, before that. But when I kissed him one night, I realized that the awkwardness was too much. Or maybe he had discovered that he wasn't as interested in me as he thought. Or maybe I realized that he was too much of a rebound. We had never made anything official, and we kind of just broke off contact after that.
4. I met Clifton at an after-choir-concert dance. We started going out and became exclusive pretty quickly. I was the first girl he ever kissed, so there was a bit of awkwardness there. Soon after we started going out, though, he started trying to change things about me. He wanted me to dress more fashionably (I guess I've never been very stylish). And all the while, even though I never said it out loud, I didn't like the way he dressed either. He also really liked to exercise, and told me that I should exercise too. He was tall and too skinny, so I felt chubby next to him already. I never really felt right dating him, and I broke it off after 5 weeks. He tried to get back together with me, telling me that he had changed (that he would stop trying to change me). I remember feeling so sad about the break-up, but I knew I wasn't going to change my mind.
5. Bryan was the best boyfriend ever. He still is, ten years later and counting. :) More on this story later.
I remember having crushes on boys since Kindergarten, a different boy each week that I would marry someday.
I became increasingly shy over the years. I went from announcing to the whole class, "I have a crush on so-and-so," to never speaking to the boy I had a crush on. Too many boys never even knew I existed, and I certainly didn't help them along.
So I will define a boyfriend as someone with whom I had mutual interest, to the point of some sort of exclusivity.
1. I was sixteen when I started dating my first "boyfriend" Jared. He was the first boy to hold my hand. At some point, he even told me he loved me. I regretted it at the time, but I responded with, "You don't even know me." And it was true, he didn't! Now I look back and congratulate myself, saying, "Good girl! That's right!" When he finally got around to kissing me for the first and last time, our mutual interest was waning. Soon after, on the day of my birthday party actually, we really talked for the first time. What you have to understand is that we barely ever saw one another, and we didn't talk. I'm not sure what we did, actually. Seems rather boring now. So we finally had a DTR (Define the Relationship) for the first time that night, and we finally talked that night. He hadn't felt "fireworks" when he kissed me (it was a peck). So it was over. Soon after, he started taking out my brother's old girlfriend. That was probably when Dallon and I really bonded for the first time (haha!).
2. I met John when I was in 10th grade, I think. He was a year younger than me: much closer to my little sister's age. I would say that John was my first real boyfriend. We had a great friendship long before we started dating. It was a difficult decision for me to start dating him though, because I had always been taught to date within my faith (so that I could get married in the temple someday, among other reasons). John wasn't really active in any religion. I finally started dating him, and eventually he joined the Church. He and I shared a lot of friends; and he was really close to my family, especially Dallon. Then I went away to college, and he stayed behind. That's when things got tough. I spent a lot of hours talking to him on the phone on the weekends. When I went home for Christmas, he proposed to me. I think it was meant to be more of a "promise ring," but we had long-term plans to get married after he went on a mission. That's when things started falling apart. I went back to school, and he started making some bad choices. I couldn't believe what I was hearing from my sister Sharley, who was still in classes with him at the high school. I also found out that he had stopped going to church. I talked to him on the phone about it. I told him I was going to take off my ring for a while, until he was ready to try again. During the summer, I went home to visit again. Oh, how I hoped he would be ready to get back together! But, oh, the crushing disappointment to find out he really didn't want to anymore. He had been going out with other girls, he had wrecked a car or two, he had tried drugs and alcohol, and he was into pornography. It was not meant to be. We had dated for about two years.
By the time I got to college, I was a serial first-dater. I got a lot of first dates, but not a lot of second dates. I think it was because I was so shy that guys interpreted that to mean that I wasn't interested. But there were a few that I went out with more than once.
3. I met Eric through a mutual voice teacher at BYU. We sang a duet together in a recital, and then we started going out. Eric was a bit awkward. He drove from Indiana to Tennessee to visit me one summer. We had held hands, and we had kissed, I think, before that. But when I kissed him one night, I realized that the awkwardness was too much. Or maybe he had discovered that he wasn't as interested in me as he thought. Or maybe I realized that he was too much of a rebound. We had never made anything official, and we kind of just broke off contact after that.
4. I met Clifton at an after-choir-concert dance. We started going out and became exclusive pretty quickly. I was the first girl he ever kissed, so there was a bit of awkwardness there. Soon after we started going out, though, he started trying to change things about me. He wanted me to dress more fashionably (I guess I've never been very stylish). And all the while, even though I never said it out loud, I didn't like the way he dressed either. He also really liked to exercise, and told me that I should exercise too. He was tall and too skinny, so I felt chubby next to him already. I never really felt right dating him, and I broke it off after 5 weeks. He tried to get back together with me, telling me that he had changed (that he would stop trying to change me). I remember feeling so sad about the break-up, but I knew I wasn't going to change my mind.
5. Bryan was the best boyfriend ever. He still is, ten years later and counting. :) More on this story later.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
IX. Academic/Extra-Curricular
Kindergarten: I don't have much to say about this year, except that when we moved, I switched from half-day to full-day. And in full-day Kindergarten, the kids took a nap every day on mats on the floor. I never could fall asleep, since I wasn't used to having a nap anymore. I think my mom also started teaching me piano when I was 5.
1st Grade: I started leaving the classroom to do accelerated work (like math games in the computer lab--yeah, awesome...).
2nd Grade: I switched schools halfway through the year, and they taught French at the second school. I only remember "Bon jour, mes amis" and "Au revoir, mes amis." (Although I wouldn't have been able to spell them until after several diction classes at BYU.)
3rd Grade: I was tested for the gifted program.
4th Grade: I attended the gifted classes.
5th Grade: I attended the gifted math class and went to the highest reading class.
6th Grade: I attended the accelerated English and Math classes. I also started band, learning to play the flute.
7th Grade: I attended the accelerated English and Math classes, but with two different teachers this time. I continued to take band. I also auditioned and was accepted into All-East Band.
8th Grade: I quit the gifted program because the teacher was horrible (ask any of my friends!). Several other kids quit that year, and eventually the teacher was fired. I started taking Latin. I continued to take band. Again, I auditioned and was accepted into All-East band.
9th Grade: I attended the U.S. Government class that was meant for gifted kids, but they let me in anyway (even though I wasn't "gifted" anymore). I attended another year of Latin. I quit band. But I attended the Music Appreciation class, because I was interested in music. It turns out that it was a class where all the lazy kids were dumped. There was no functional choir at the school, nor had there been for 20 years. I also attended early-morning Seminary (I believe we studied the New Testament).
10th Grade: A new teacher was hired to teach choir. My dad suggested that I offer to accompany the choir in exchange for voice lessons. So I did! I got a great deal out of it because I was improving two of my talents for free. I also attended early-morning Seminary (I believe we studied the Old Testament).
11th Grade: I continued with accompanying and voice lessons. I auditioned for, and was accepted into, Tennessee Governor's School for the Arts. It was a month-long summer program in which I was exposed to intense vocal training, choir, and opera scenes. I also started working in my dad's business. And I started taking piano lessons from a nearby university. (This teacher was also lousy, so I gave it up after a while.) I also attended early-morning Seminary (I believe we studied Church History and the Doctrine and Covenants [another LDS scripture]).
12th Grade: A new teacher was hired to teach choir (the other one had a baby and left). She didn't allow me to accompany, so I joined the choir. I still continued to take voice lessons with the other teacher, though. I finally got up the courage this year to audition for All-East choir and All-State choir. I easily got into both, with the highest score of anyone who auditioned. I also continued working for my dad. I again attended early-morning Seminary (I believe we studied the Book of Mormon). I also completed my Personal Progress this year (a four-year program for the young women at church in which we set goals and completed spiritual tasks and lots of service.)
BYU: I continued to take voice lessons, joined the choir, did opera scenes, and a whole host of other music classes (Diction, Theory, Sight-Singing, Dictation, Music History, Opera Scenes, Masterclasses, Pedagogy, Functional Piano Skills, etc.). I also took several religion classes: Old Testament, New Testament, Church History, Doctrine and Covenants, Pearl of Great Price (another LDS scripture), Book of Mormon, Marriage and Family, and The Family: A Proclamation to the World.
All-in-all, I have had about 9 years of choir (if you include post-college choirs), 9 years of voice lessons, 3-4 years of piano lessons (I took lessons pretty sporadically, but I was always practicing), and 3 years of band. I have been teaching piano and voice lessons on and off for about ten years. I also had about 8 years of intense gospel study.
I have a great brain for math, which aids in my musical abilities. Unfortunately, I don't have a brain for creativity. So my talents are all very formulaic and less expressive, although I'm working on that...
1st Grade: I started leaving the classroom to do accelerated work (like math games in the computer lab--yeah, awesome...).
2nd Grade: I switched schools halfway through the year, and they taught French at the second school. I only remember "Bon jour, mes amis" and "Au revoir, mes amis." (Although I wouldn't have been able to spell them until after several diction classes at BYU.)
3rd Grade: I was tested for the gifted program.
4th Grade: I attended the gifted classes.
5th Grade: I attended the gifted math class and went to the highest reading class.
6th Grade: I attended the accelerated English and Math classes. I also started band, learning to play the flute.
7th Grade: I attended the accelerated English and Math classes, but with two different teachers this time. I continued to take band. I also auditioned and was accepted into All-East Band.
8th Grade: I quit the gifted program because the teacher was horrible (ask any of my friends!). Several other kids quit that year, and eventually the teacher was fired. I started taking Latin. I continued to take band. Again, I auditioned and was accepted into All-East band.
9th Grade: I attended the U.S. Government class that was meant for gifted kids, but they let me in anyway (even though I wasn't "gifted" anymore). I attended another year of Latin. I quit band. But I attended the Music Appreciation class, because I was interested in music. It turns out that it was a class where all the lazy kids were dumped. There was no functional choir at the school, nor had there been for 20 years. I also attended early-morning Seminary (I believe we studied the New Testament).
10th Grade: A new teacher was hired to teach choir. My dad suggested that I offer to accompany the choir in exchange for voice lessons. So I did! I got a great deal out of it because I was improving two of my talents for free. I also attended early-morning Seminary (I believe we studied the Old Testament).
11th Grade: I continued with accompanying and voice lessons. I auditioned for, and was accepted into, Tennessee Governor's School for the Arts. It was a month-long summer program in which I was exposed to intense vocal training, choir, and opera scenes. I also started working in my dad's business. And I started taking piano lessons from a nearby university. (This teacher was also lousy, so I gave it up after a while.) I also attended early-morning Seminary (I believe we studied Church History and the Doctrine and Covenants [another LDS scripture]).
12th Grade: A new teacher was hired to teach choir (the other one had a baby and left). She didn't allow me to accompany, so I joined the choir. I still continued to take voice lessons with the other teacher, though. I finally got up the courage this year to audition for All-East choir and All-State choir. I easily got into both, with the highest score of anyone who auditioned. I also continued working for my dad. I again attended early-morning Seminary (I believe we studied the Book of Mormon). I also completed my Personal Progress this year (a four-year program for the young women at church in which we set goals and completed spiritual tasks and lots of service.)
BYU: I continued to take voice lessons, joined the choir, did opera scenes, and a whole host of other music classes (Diction, Theory, Sight-Singing, Dictation, Music History, Opera Scenes, Masterclasses, Pedagogy, Functional Piano Skills, etc.). I also took several religion classes: Old Testament, New Testament, Church History, Doctrine and Covenants, Pearl of Great Price (another LDS scripture), Book of Mormon, Marriage and Family, and The Family: A Proclamation to the World.
All-in-all, I have had about 9 years of choir (if you include post-college choirs), 9 years of voice lessons, 3-4 years of piano lessons (I took lessons pretty sporadically, but I was always practicing), and 3 years of band. I have been teaching piano and voice lessons on and off for about ten years. I also had about 8 years of intense gospel study.
I have a great brain for math, which aids in my musical abilities. Unfortunately, I don't have a brain for creativity. So my talents are all very formulaic and less expressive, although I'm working on that...
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
VIII. Mom's Cancer
One morning, when I was 16, I was being sassy to my mother. I don't remember the circumstances at all, just that I was being disrespectful for some reason. I don't even remember her reaction, but I remember my dad's reaction.
He grabbed me by the shoulders, and told me that I should never treat my mother that way. Then he broke the news to me that she had cancer.
I don't think I even knew it was a concern. I found out later that she had been to a doctor for another reason, and the doctor somehow noticed a lump on her throat. The doctor ordered a biopsy, and it came back positive for thyroid cancer.
Thyroid is the slowest-growing, most treatable cancer. My mom had Stage 4 cancer; Stage 5 is usually terminal. This meant that she likely had the cancer most of her life.
Of course, I was experiencing this process as a teenager. So I was much more concerned about myself and what it would mean to me, than about my mother and what she was going through. Or even my dad, what he was going through, and what it meant to him.
Initially, the treatment would mean surgery. For some reason, on the day of the surgery, my siblings were not home. The younger children probably were with babysitters. I think maybe my brother and I had jobs, and we worked that day. But I was home earlier than Dallon, and I remember just waiting around to get the phone call about how the surgery went.
Once the surgeon began the operation, he discovered that the cancer was more extensive than he had guessed. Some of the tumors were wrapped around a nerve to one of her vocal cords. She would lose her voice.
Soon after, when my mom was in recovery, my dad took me to visit her. On the way to the hospital, he tried to prepare me for what I would see, and he also tried to prepare me that she might die. But my mom was beautiful! She had tubes attached everywhere, but I was so happy to see her.
She told me later that when she was in the ICU, she had a scary experience. Somehow the tube in her throat had failed to drain her throat properly. She began to choke, and she could not reach the call button. She began to panic, so she said a prayer in her mind. The words came to her mind:
Night gathers round my soul
Fearful, I cry to Thee,
Come to mine aid, O Lord!
Haste Thee, Lord, haste to help me!
Hear my cry, hear my cry
Save me, Lord in Thy mercy;
Hear my cry, hear my cry!
Come and save me, O Lord!
(O Divine Redeemer, Charles Gounod)
My mother was a singer with a beautiful voice. Because the operation potentially could take her voice, she had sung this song the night before the operation. She also received a priesthood blessing.
Miraculously, God caused a nurse to notice my mom's distress, and she was able to fix the problem so my mom could breathe again.
When she was recovered enough, she began going through radiation treatment. Her throat was literally cooked, so that it was difficult for her to swallow. She started drinking Ensure (like Slimfast) to gain weight.
I got my driver's license soon after, so that I could occasionally drive her to her radiation treatments.
My mom eventually made a full recovery (with some lasting side-effects) and has been in remission for over 14 years.
It wasn't long after her recovery that she began to take voice therapy lessons at Vanderbilt University. Through her hard work, she was able to relearn the notes in her voice. Because one vocal cord is paralyzed, the other compensates by coming over to meet the other. She has a very quiet, airy voice because the vocal cords never completely close together. My mother is such an inspiration. She even recently joined a choir!
My mom worked so hard to beat the cancer because she knew that she still had important things to do with her life, especially to raise her family.
I am so grateful that she is still around. I still need her. I can't imagine my life without her.
Thanks and praise be to God for saving her!
He grabbed me by the shoulders, and told me that I should never treat my mother that way. Then he broke the news to me that she had cancer.
I don't think I even knew it was a concern. I found out later that she had been to a doctor for another reason, and the doctor somehow noticed a lump on her throat. The doctor ordered a biopsy, and it came back positive for thyroid cancer.
Thyroid is the slowest-growing, most treatable cancer. My mom had Stage 4 cancer; Stage 5 is usually terminal. This meant that she likely had the cancer most of her life.
Of course, I was experiencing this process as a teenager. So I was much more concerned about myself and what it would mean to me, than about my mother and what she was going through. Or even my dad, what he was going through, and what it meant to him.
Initially, the treatment would mean surgery. For some reason, on the day of the surgery, my siblings were not home. The younger children probably were with babysitters. I think maybe my brother and I had jobs, and we worked that day. But I was home earlier than Dallon, and I remember just waiting around to get the phone call about how the surgery went.
Once the surgeon began the operation, he discovered that the cancer was more extensive than he had guessed. Some of the tumors were wrapped around a nerve to one of her vocal cords. She would lose her voice.
Soon after, when my mom was in recovery, my dad took me to visit her. On the way to the hospital, he tried to prepare me for what I would see, and he also tried to prepare me that she might die. But my mom was beautiful! She had tubes attached everywhere, but I was so happy to see her.
She told me later that when she was in the ICU, she had a scary experience. Somehow the tube in her throat had failed to drain her throat properly. She began to choke, and she could not reach the call button. She began to panic, so she said a prayer in her mind. The words came to her mind:
Night gathers round my soul
Fearful, I cry to Thee,
Come to mine aid, O Lord!
Haste Thee, Lord, haste to help me!
Hear my cry, hear my cry
Save me, Lord in Thy mercy;
Hear my cry, hear my cry!
Come and save me, O Lord!
(O Divine Redeemer, Charles Gounod)
My mother was a singer with a beautiful voice. Because the operation potentially could take her voice, she had sung this song the night before the operation. She also received a priesthood blessing.
Miraculously, God caused a nurse to notice my mom's distress, and she was able to fix the problem so my mom could breathe again.
When she was recovered enough, she began going through radiation treatment. Her throat was literally cooked, so that it was difficult for her to swallow. She started drinking Ensure (like Slimfast) to gain weight.
I got my driver's license soon after, so that I could occasionally drive her to her radiation treatments.
My mom eventually made a full recovery (with some lasting side-effects) and has been in remission for over 14 years.
It wasn't long after her recovery that she began to take voice therapy lessons at Vanderbilt University. Through her hard work, she was able to relearn the notes in her voice. Because one vocal cord is paralyzed, the other compensates by coming over to meet the other. She has a very quiet, airy voice because the vocal cords never completely close together. My mother is such an inspiration. She even recently joined a choir!
My mom worked so hard to beat the cancer because she knew that she still had important things to do with her life, especially to raise her family.
I am so grateful that she is still around. I still need her. I can't imagine my life without her.
Thanks and praise be to God for saving her!
Monday, March 4, 2013
VII. Baptism
Soon after I turned 8, I was baptized. I remember the day pretty clearly. It was a beautiful summer day. I wore an outfit my mom made for me, a shirt and skirt that matched with a beautiful pink flower pattern. My mom French-braided my hair.
We were in a brand-new ward, and I remember that another person was baptized that day. I wore a white jump-suit, and my dad baptized me by immersion.
That night, my grandparents gave me my own set of scriptures with their testimonies written inside.
The next day was Sunday, and my Grandpa Holmes confirmed me (which means that he laid his hands on my head to bless me, officially joined me to the Church, and conferred upon me the gift of the Holy Ghost).
Even though there isn't a whole lot to say about the actual day, it was truly significant to me.
I am a Mormon. In fact, most of my ancestors go all the way back to the beginning of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Regardless of my heritage, I have come to know the truthfulness of the gospel through my own study and prayer.
How are Mormons different than mainstream Christianity? I won't attempt to be exhaustive in my answer, but I will name a few significant differences.
We are not Protestants. We did not break off from any other church. We believe that Christ restored the gospel through the prophet Joseph Smith.
We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost. We believe they are three separate members of the Godhead. They have different roles, but They are unified in Their purpose (to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man).
We believe the Bible, and we believe the Book of Mormon is also the word of God. The Book of Mormon is a history of two groups of ancient people who inherited the American continent as their Promised Land. God called prophets from among those people, who taught them the gospel just as it had been taught in Jerusalem. When Christ resurrected, He came to visit the people on this continent. Throughout the Book of Mormon, the people went through cycles of wickedness and righteousness. Eventually, they became so wicked that they destroyed one another. The prophet Mormon abridged the records of the two peoples, and gave them to his son before he died. Moroni added a few writings, then buried them in the Hill Cumorah in what is now Palmyra, New York. When the boy Joseph Smith was 14, he prayed to know which church was true. The answer he received was a visitation from God, the Father, and Jesus Christ. He was instructed that no other church had the fullness of the gospel, and that he was to be an instrument in restoring it. Joseph Smith later received visitations from the angel Moroni, who showed him where the plates were buried. Through the power of God, Joseph Smith translated the plates.
We believe in modern revelation. We believe that our prophet President Thomas S. Monson receives revelation for the Church. We also believe that we can study and pray, and receive personal revelation through the Holy Ghost.
We believe that when the gospel was restored, that the priesthood (the authority and power of God to act in His name) was also restored. President Thomas S. Monson holds all the authority, but he delegates that authority how God directs him to.
We also believe in eternal families. We believe that through the priesthood authority and temple ordinances, a man and woman and their children can be linked, or sealed, together forever.
We believe that we are saved by grace, after all we can do. In other words, the Atonement of Christ is the only way we can return to heaven. But we have to keep the commandments, and repent if we make mistakes.
http://mormon.org/eng/ has more thorough explanations of what we believe. What I believe.
I love the gospel. I love my Savior, Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for everything He has done for me.
We were in a brand-new ward, and I remember that another person was baptized that day. I wore a white jump-suit, and my dad baptized me by immersion.
That night, my grandparents gave me my own set of scriptures with their testimonies written inside.
The next day was Sunday, and my Grandpa Holmes confirmed me (which means that he laid his hands on my head to bless me, officially joined me to the Church, and conferred upon me the gift of the Holy Ghost).
Even though there isn't a whole lot to say about the actual day, it was truly significant to me.
I am a Mormon. In fact, most of my ancestors go all the way back to the beginning of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Regardless of my heritage, I have come to know the truthfulness of the gospel through my own study and prayer.
How are Mormons different than mainstream Christianity? I won't attempt to be exhaustive in my answer, but I will name a few significant differences.
We are not Protestants. We did not break off from any other church. We believe that Christ restored the gospel through the prophet Joseph Smith.
We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost. We believe they are three separate members of the Godhead. They have different roles, but They are unified in Their purpose (to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man).
We believe the Bible, and we believe the Book of Mormon is also the word of God. The Book of Mormon is a history of two groups of ancient people who inherited the American continent as their Promised Land. God called prophets from among those people, who taught them the gospel just as it had been taught in Jerusalem. When Christ resurrected, He came to visit the people on this continent. Throughout the Book of Mormon, the people went through cycles of wickedness and righteousness. Eventually, they became so wicked that they destroyed one another. The prophet Mormon abridged the records of the two peoples, and gave them to his son before he died. Moroni added a few writings, then buried them in the Hill Cumorah in what is now Palmyra, New York. When the boy Joseph Smith was 14, he prayed to know which church was true. The answer he received was a visitation from God, the Father, and Jesus Christ. He was instructed that no other church had the fullness of the gospel, and that he was to be an instrument in restoring it. Joseph Smith later received visitations from the angel Moroni, who showed him where the plates were buried. Through the power of God, Joseph Smith translated the plates.
We believe in modern revelation. We believe that our prophet President Thomas S. Monson receives revelation for the Church. We also believe that we can study and pray, and receive personal revelation through the Holy Ghost.
We believe that when the gospel was restored, that the priesthood (the authority and power of God to act in His name) was also restored. President Thomas S. Monson holds all the authority, but he delegates that authority how God directs him to.
We also believe in eternal families. We believe that through the priesthood authority and temple ordinances, a man and woman and their children can be linked, or sealed, together forever.
We believe that we are saved by grace, after all we can do. In other words, the Atonement of Christ is the only way we can return to heaven. But we have to keep the commandments, and repent if we make mistakes.
http://mormon.org/eng/ has more thorough explanations of what we believe. What I believe.
I love the gospel. I love my Savior, Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for everything He has done for me.
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