XV. Joseph

My Joseph.

I guess a huge reason why I want to write these posts about my children is because I'm extremely curious to know if they'll grow up to be bigger versions of their young selves.

Joseph is a third child, poor thing.  I try not to change my parenting, but the inevitability is that he has always vied and will always be vying for my attention among several other children.  Which brings me to point number one: Joseph is super-competitive.  He always wants to be first.  Everything is a contest.  And he gets so frustrated, to the point of melt-down, if he can't win.  And the reality is that he is still smaller than the older two, and often he just can't win.  And he fights back.  I told Caleb recently, "You better be nice to him now, because someday he'll be bigger than you."  Even if Joseph doesn't grow taller than his older brother, he is certainly built stockier.

In that way, he is much like his father.  Stocky, competitive, and athletic.  We certainly have noticed his natural athletic abilities.  He also stays interested in sports longer than anyone else.  I imagine he will be driven to excel at something, like his dad.

Joseph doesn't take a back seat to anyone academically, either.  He is on his way to reading, being able to spell and sound out many words.  He can also calculate simple math problems in his head.  We are going to do a different preschool co-op with him this year (wish me luck!).  I think he will exceed expectations, but I'm sure he will love the repetition and just being with friends.

He is starting to become more aware of his surroundings and renew his sense of humor.  We used to call him "Joyseph" when he was a baby.  And then that sweet disposition disappeared completely.  All my kids went through a phase, starting at about three years old, when things had to be done in a certain way or the world fell apart.  Joseph was a bit extreme in this phase, and nothing ever went his way.  But now I am seeing that he is growing out of it.  Something in his eyes tells me he is starting to "get it."

Joseph loves to help.  He will be the first person to help me cook food.  And he will be the first person to weed the garden.  He loves dirt.  You will often find this boy covered in dust.

He loves Lightning McQueen and Mario and the color red.  For a while his favorite color changed to blue, because "blue are the good guys and red are the bad guys."  But now it's back to red.  He often dresses himself, and you will likely find him in a new red outfit as long as the clothes are clean.  He is very independent.  He likes to check in with me frequently, but he certainly wants to do things his own way.

Something else about Joseph is that he is very cautious.  He is not too willing to try new things.  And he is not likely to bow to pressure either.  If he says no, he means it.

A warning: this boy can be a chatter-box.  If you choose to engage him, he will talk your ear off.  And he will be super-animated, with great expressions, vocal inflections, and hand gestures.

I also think Joseph is going to grow up to be amazingly handsome.  :)

My Joseph keeps me on my toes, but I completely adore him.  I don't know what I'd do without my Joseph.

XIV. Savanna

Wow, it's been a while.  Again, I've been putting this off, trying to find a time when I could really sit down and think about this darling little girl and what I might say about her.  But I need to get cracking because I'd like to finish the posts about my kids before the next baby arrives.

Savanna has always been such an easy-going little girl.  For the most part, she is a peacemaker.  She loves to help me, and she enjoys playing with the other kids.  This year she has branched out a bit more, and she plays with friends more.  Everyone is her best friend.  She makes friends so easily, I'm baffled!  Wherever she goes, she will have a new friend.  She is also everyone's cheerleader.  If there is something to cheer about, or just some needed uplifting, you can count on Savanna.

Savanna is sooo affectionate.  She loves to give hugs and kisses, and her smiles are so sweet and sincere.  She is a nice girl.  She is also very sensitive.  Sensitive to others' needs, and sensitive in the emotional sense.  Sometimes she just needs a good cry and a solution, and then she's reset.  She's a pretty typical girl.

My sister-in-law and I were recently discussing the importance of building a healthy self-image in our children.  I'm going to have to disagree that my daughter should be deprived of compliments to her beauty in favor of compliments to her cleverness.  (Don't get me wrong, I actually think that children should be complimented for their intellect, kindness, and right choices, as well as looks.  They need all of it, even boys.)  This little girl is beautiful.  She has such a natural beauty; I hope she will be confident in the looks department all her life, because she is not deficient by any means.  And maybe a huge part of that is her radiant countenance.  She is a good girl, and she is so sweet.  What could be more attractive than that?

Savanna is also very smart.  She was so beyond Kindergarten when she started Kindergarten.  She started out counting past 100 and reading books (forget the ABCs).  The highlight of her day was always what she ate for snack time.  At the end of the year, the teacher was scrambling to keep her busy with math problems and book reports on chapter books.  Even still, she loved school.  She loved her friends, she loved her teacher, she loved playing, and she loved riding the bus.  She is very excited for first grade.  I just hope we will get a teacher as willing to work with her, as advanced classes don't start until third grade.

Savanna has an ear for music.  She can sing in tune better than most adults!  And she doesn't even know it.  She particularly loves to mimic me and pretend to use vibrato whenever she can.  Sometimes it makes me giggle, sometimes (like in Sacrament Meeting) I have to ask her to tone it down.  She is also learning to read music as I teach her piano lessons.

She is such a little mother.  She likes to pretend to play house whenever she can: cooking, cleaning, and playing with her dolls.  She is very excited for the real baby to come and has asked that she be the first to hold it.  She is convinced it will be a girl because she wants a sister so badly.  She always hugs my tummy, and she giggles every time she can feel the baby move.

Perhaps it is not fair to write this post about her now (as well as the younger siblings) because we haven't quite figured out what other talents she has.  She is interested in playing soccer, so we'll probably try that in the fall.  She loves to play outside with Daddy; it doesn't even matter what it is.  She loves swimming, pink, and pretty things.  She does her own hair as often as she can.  And she started learning how to crochet last week.  She loves to read and sets goals for herself to finish chapter books quickly.  She is a great helper and can do most chores I ask her to do.

I don't know what I'd do without her.  I love my Savanna!

XIII. Caleb

Once again, I have put off blogging because how in the world do you write a post about your beloved little people without forgetting anything?  It seems like a very daunting task.

 

We'll start with number 1.

 

Caleb came into the world on an awesome epidural.  I remember looking at this little creature in my arms and feeling a sense of, "This is weird."  I know, not what you'd expect.  But it was the first little person I birthed, and it took a little while (like an hour) for me to acclimate to loving someone I'd never even met.

Luckily, I had an awesome mom who taught me a lot about mothering through my own childhood, that the rest of motherhood seemed to come pretty naturally.  There wasn't much that surprised me about taking care of a baby, and I knew which sources could give me reliable answers.

Caleb has always been smart.  I'll try not to brag too much, but I do reserve the right to brag a little (it is my blog, after all).  When he turned 5 just weeks before the deadline to enter Kindergarten, I knew there was NO CHANCE we could even consider holding him back.  He. Was. Ready.  Reading and writing before he was four, we were certain he could keep up.  It turns out that even though he has consistently been one of the youngest in his classes, he has always been one of the more advanced.  I believe he has a photographic memory of sorts, and he tests really well.  He learns fast; once the light goes on, he usually remembers any given academic skill.

Legos have been one of his favorite toys for several years now.  He can create!  Not only does he have a creative artistic ability (like, he can think of something original in his head), he has an engineering mind.  His creations often have functional moving parts, which I know must take a lot of forethought to get it just right.  He wants to be a Lego designer when he grows up, but I imagine he will move on to bigger and better things.

This boy can draw!  Same creative artistic ability applies here.  It comes out of his head (and sometimes his memory) and straight onto the paper.  He is also a master at copying images he sees.  He has also dabbled in origami; again with the engineering mind.

As an 8 (almost 9)-year old, Caleb likes video games.  He has a list of chores that take him about an hour each day before he can play half an hour of video games, but it's a good motivator.  Mom and Dad also have complete control over which games he is allowed to play, so we feel good about this little motivational system.

Caleb can play piano.  He started really practicing this year, and he is flying through his lessons.  It helps that I teach him, so he can pass off songs as often as he is ready.  He has always had an ear for music, matching pitches at 10 months old (I heard that the average child can match pitches by age 6).

He loves to ride bikes, and he ran cross country this past year.  He was also on two different basketball teams, but he seems to do better at individual sports.  We need to explore his athletic abilities a bit more.

Caleb is an awesome helper.  He can do most tasks, and he really makes my life easier in many ways.  "Caleb" means obedient or faithful, and it perfectly describes my oldest son.  He really understands the difference between right and wrong, and he is very reasonable.  I can usually explain something to him, and that is discipline enough.

Caleb is a very friendly person.  And he is always looking for a laugh.  Something I love about Caleb is that since he was a baby, he would get hiccups every time he belly-laughed.  And he still does.  :)  It's adorable.

He is very self-motivated.  Usually he does his homework and practicing on his own, with an occasional question for me.

Caleb is a good friend and a good big brother.  He is usually aware of the weaknesses of others and lifts them up.  He wants to be liked by everybody, but he is learning how to choose friends that are good for him too.

Caleb is independent.  He is still very affectionate, and he checks in with me regularly throughout the day.  But he is perfectly happy doing his own thing.

I love this boy!  He is a huge blessing in my life.  I can't imagine my life without my Caleb.

XII. Bryan

I have been putting this off because it seems impossible to create a succinct, meaningful blog post about a person with whom you have spent every day for over 10 years of your life.

Bryan and I met at Marketing Ally, a telemarketing job that we both despised.  I was working there because it was easy to get a job, and it was an easy job.  Bryan worked there because he needed a job where he could take a load off his stress-fractured femur.  He asked me out the day before he quit his job, just in case I would say no.  :)

He figured he had one chance, so he planned a creative date.  I was impressed with each part of the date.  First, he made dinner.  We had squash from his parents' garden and lasagna .  Then we fed the ducks while we waited for the outdoor play to start.  He rented chairs so we wouldn't have to sit on the ground, and he brought Twizzlers.  I don't really like Twizzlers, but it was a sweet thought.  The play was a "Rock Opera."  It was a jazzed-up version of the operetta The Mikado.  I had performed scenes from this particular operetta in high school.  After the entertainment we went back to his apartment where he made Oreo milkshakes.  At this point in the night, his roommates started bragging about him.  It turns out that he was a very talented runner, one of the best on the BYU Track and Cross Country teams.

First, I was impressed that he could cook.  Second, I was impressed that he was frugal (something that might not impress every woman, but it worked for me!).  He was really easy to talk to, which is really saying something for me (anxiety reference here).  Third, I was impressed that he had researched the operetta so that he could be knowledgeable about it, which meant quite a bit of forethought to the date.  Which I, of course, appreciated.  Again, with the milkshakes, I was impressed that he made them and saved money in the process.  Fourth, I was impressed that he was concerned for my comfort during the date.  And lastly, I was impressed with his humility when his roommates brought up his abilities.  And it was at that time that I noticed the muscles on his arms, sneaking out of the bottom of his sleeves.  :)

After that, I really appreciated his direct approach (also very good for me).  There were never games.  If he felt like calling me, he did.  If he wanted to see me, he came by.  If he wanted to go out with me again, he called.  It was always easy to talk to him, and we always had a good time.  It didn't take too long for us to fall in love.  We started dating at the end of August 2002 and were engaged by the end of October 2002.  We were married on January 17, 2003 because it was a holiday weekend.  We were married on a Friday, honeymooned Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, and were back in class on Tuesday.

Bryan's Stake President offered us some advice: start the habit of reading scriptures and saying prayers together immediately, go to church together (we went to church in Zion's National Park), and have Family Home Evening together (we started on Monday).  Those habits have blessed our marriage tremendously through the years.

Bryan is a very motivated person.  You have never seen someone set goals and reach them as well as Bryan.  He is the kind of person that knows what it takes to succeed.  He works hard and he stays focused.  He always has a plan.  Bryan was captain of the Track and Cross-Country teams his senior year.  He took 2nd place in the 1500m at the NCAA Championships in 2005, with an equivalent of a 3:55 mile.

He was signed with New Balance to run professionally following graduation.  He did that for a year, while I finished my degree.  He was even able to run some European races in the summer.  In the fall, we decided to move on to grad school at the University of Kentucky while he continued running for New Balance.  Eventually he became injured, and had to end his professional running career.  But I think we always knew that we needed to have a Plan B, and in some ways the running career was the Plan B.  He finished his Masters in Health Administration with top grades and top honors.  He was asked to speak at his graduation.

During his last year of grad school, he began searching for jobs.  He was recruited by Avalon Health Care Group to be an Administrator-in-Training.  He was able to shadow a nursing home administrator for a year and still get paid for it.  Then they placed him as the administrator of the nursing home in Pullman, WA.  He had that job for three years and was able to do some great things.  Eventually he felt boxed in because the job in Pullman really had no room for growth.  He started researching other options, and now has a job with Life Care Centers of America in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.

Bryan is the type of person who just attracts people.  He is a true diplomat, and he makes friends wherever he goes.  He even turns potential enemies into friends with his powers of soothing.  He really excels at what he does, but you would never expect less from this man.

Bryan is funny.  He is always looking for something to laugh about.  He is always trying to make me smile, even resorting to what he calls "dancing."  :)

Bryan has a kind heart.  He is always serving me.  He loves to play with his kids.  He works hard so that he can provide a nice life for his family.  He is always trying to improve himself and be an even better man.

I really love him.  He is an awesome husband and father.  We are close.  We are best friends.  We love playing "house" together.  He makes me happy.  I am truly blessed to have this man in my life.

XI. BYU Experience

I lived off-campus my freshman year, instead of the dorms, to save money.  Because my parents and I were only vaguely familiar with the area, we didn't choose the most suitable place for an 18-year-old.  I lived in a very old house with 7 other girls.  Most of them were quite a bit older than me.  My room-roommate was a very disturbed, mentally unstable person.  I didn't have a car, so I had to rely on the kindness and mercy of others to go grocery shopping.  And I walked everywhere else.  I walked to school, I walked to church (which was usually some random building on campus), and I walked to work.  There are very limited opportunities for employment in Provo, so I started working at a telemarketing place near my house (and did so on-and-off until I met my husband there).  Luckily, I earned scholarships, and I had saved some money.  So my parents only had to help with some of my expenses.  The nice thing about BYU is that it is subsidized a great deal by tithing from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  So I got an awesome education for an awesome price.

As I said before, I went home during the following summer.  I got a job as a cashier at Wal-Mart.

I moved into another very old house with my sister Sharley the following year, just a bit closer to campus.  It was a dump.  During our time there, the roof collapsed over the lean-to laundry room, and the house started on fire just as my roommate was returning from Christmas vacation.  Luckily (?), the damage was minimal, and we were able to continue living there.  That year, I also joined the BYU Concert Choir.  We went on tour through the northwestern states in early spring; it was the only tour we ever attempted during my time there.

That summer, I moved in with my grandma for a few weeks until I could find an apartment.  I found one a little closer to campus, hoping that I might be able to stay during the Fall semester.  It didn't work out, so I was on the hunt for another apartment again.  I found something just south of campus (even closer than before) in which I could have a private room at a great price.  I think I would have been happy with that apartment for a long time, if I hadn't gotten married.  I was able to sell my contract to my sister Sharley the next semester.

When you apply for BYU, and each year thereafter, you have to sign a contract (also endorsed by an ecclesiastical leader) that you will keep and have kept the BYU Honor Code.  Some highlights of this code are strict curfews, complete honesty, no alcohol or drugs, and no premarital sex.  Actually, for most people (including me), it didn't feel restrictive since we already obeyed these laws.

Although my mother had taught me a great deal about cooking and cleaning, and even though I was a really good student, it took time learning how to take care of and motivate myself.  Each year, I spent more and more time at school studying (since I learned that studying at home was less effective).  And each year I put a little more effort into feeding myself properly.

Once I got married, my eyes were opened to a whole different side of BYU, namely the athletic side.  I started visiting buildings I didn't even know existed before.  And I continued to walk everywhere.  I have never been athletic myself, but I'm pretty sure I was in the best shape of my life while I was at BYU because I was walking so much!

Once we were married, Bryan and I were on our own financially (and rightly so!).  We each had decent scholarships, we were able to get Pell grants, we had jobs during the summer, and we eventually had to get student loans to cover our living expenses.  How in the world did we survive?  Only the Lord knows.

I'm sure I could go on forever about my experience at college, but I will be satisfied with the highlights.  I kept a pretty good journal during that time, so my children will be able to read more details if they wish.

X. Boyfriends

I think it appropriate that this topic chronologically falls on Roman Numeral X.

I remember having crushes on boys since Kindergarten, a different boy each week that I would marry someday.

I became increasingly shy over the years.  I went from announcing to the whole class, "I have a crush on so-and-so," to never speaking to the boy I had a crush on.  Too many boys never even knew I existed, and I certainly didn't help them along.

So I will define a boyfriend as someone with whom I had mutual interest, to the point of some sort of exclusivity.

1. I was sixteen when I started dating my first "boyfriend" Jared.  He was the first boy to hold my hand.  At some point, he even told me he loved me.  I regretted it at the time, but I responded with, "You don't even know me."  And it was true, he didn't!  Now I look back and congratulate myself, saying, "Good girl!  That's right!"  When he finally got around to kissing me for the first and last time, our mutual interest was waning.  Soon after, on the day of my birthday party actually, we really talked for the first time.  What you have to understand is that we barely ever saw one another, and we didn't talk.  I'm not sure what we did, actually.  Seems rather boring now.  So we finally had a DTR (Define the Relationship) for the first time that night, and we finally talked that night.  He hadn't felt "fireworks" when he kissed me (it was a peck).  So it was over.  Soon after, he started taking out my brother's old girlfriend.  That was probably when Dallon and I really bonded for the first time (haha!).

2. I met John when I was in 10th grade, I think.  He was a year younger than me: much closer to my little sister's age.  I would say that John was my first real boyfriend.  We had a great friendship long before we started dating.  It was a difficult decision for me to start dating him though, because I had always been taught to date within my faith (so that I could get married in the temple someday, among other reasons).  John wasn't really active in any religion.  I finally started dating him, and eventually he joined the Church.  He and I shared a lot of friends; and he was really close to my family, especially Dallon.  Then I went away to college, and he stayed behind.  That's when things got tough.  I spent a lot of hours talking to him on the phone on the weekends.  When I went home for Christmas, he proposed to me.  I think it was meant to be more of a "promise ring," but we had long-term plans to get married after he went on a mission.  That's when things started falling apart.  I went back to school, and he started making some bad choices.  I couldn't believe what I was hearing from my sister Sharley, who was still in classes with him at the high school.  I also found out that he had stopped going to church.  I talked to him on the phone about it.  I told him I was going to take off my ring for a while, until he was ready to try again.  During the summer, I went home to visit again.  Oh, how I hoped he would be ready to get back together!  But, oh, the crushing disappointment to find out he really didn't want to anymore.  He had been going out with other girls, he had wrecked a car or two, he had tried drugs and alcohol, and he was into pornography.  It was not meant to be.  We had dated for about two years.

By the time I got to college, I was a serial first-dater.  I got a lot of first dates, but not a lot of second dates.  I think it was because I was so shy that guys interpreted that to mean that I wasn't interested.  But there were a few that I went out with more than once.

3. I met Eric through a mutual voice teacher at BYU.  We sang a duet together in a recital, and then we started going out.  Eric was a bit awkward.  He drove from Indiana to Tennessee to visit me one summer.  We had held hands, and we had kissed, I think, before that.  But when I kissed him one night, I realized that the awkwardness was too much.  Or maybe he had discovered that he wasn't as interested in me as he thought.  Or maybe I realized that he was too much of a rebound.  We had never made anything official, and we kind of just broke off contact after that.

4. I met Clifton at an after-choir-concert dance.  We started going out and became exclusive pretty quickly.  I was the first girl he ever kissed, so there was a bit of awkwardness there.  Soon after we started going out, though, he started trying to change things about me.  He wanted me to dress more fashionably (I guess I've never been very stylish).  And all the while, even though I never said it out loud, I didn't like the way he dressed either.  He also really liked to exercise, and told me that I should exercise too.  He was tall and too skinny, so I felt chubby next to him already.  I never really felt right dating him, and I broke it off after 5 weeks.  He tried to get back together with me, telling me that he had changed (that he would stop trying to change me).  I remember feeling so sad about the break-up, but I knew I wasn't going to change my mind.

5. Bryan was the best boyfriend ever.  He still is, ten years later and counting.  :)  More on this story later.

IX. Academic/Extra-Curricular

Kindergarten: I don't have much to say about this year, except that when we moved, I switched from half-day to full-day.  And in full-day Kindergarten, the kids took a nap every day on mats on the floor.  I never could fall asleep, since I wasn't used to having a nap anymore.  I think my mom also started teaching me piano when I was 5.

1st Grade: I started leaving the classroom to do accelerated work (like math games in the computer lab--yeah, awesome...).

2nd Grade: I switched schools halfway through the year, and they taught French at the second school.  I only remember "Bon jour, mes amis" and "Au revoir, mes amis."  (Although I wouldn't have been able to spell them until after several diction classes at BYU.)

3rd Grade: I was tested for the gifted program.

4th Grade: I attended the gifted classes.

5th Grade: I attended the gifted math class and went to the highest reading class.

6th Grade: I attended the accelerated English and Math classes.  I also started band, learning to play the flute.

7th Grade: I attended the accelerated English and Math classes, but with two different teachers this time.  I continued to take band.  I also auditioned and was accepted into All-East Band. 

8th Grade: I quit the gifted program because the teacher was horrible (ask any of my friends!).  Several other kids quit that year, and eventually the teacher was fired.  I started taking Latin.  I continued to take band.  Again, I auditioned and was accepted into All-East band.

 9th Grade: I attended the U.S. Government class that was meant for gifted kids, but they let me in anyway (even though I wasn't "gifted" anymore).  I attended another year of Latin.  I quit band.  But I attended the Music Appreciation class, because I was interested in music.  It turns out that it was a class where all the lazy kids were dumped.  There was no functional choir at the school, nor had there been for 20 years.  I also attended early-morning Seminary (I believe we studied the New Testament).

10th Grade: A new teacher was hired to teach choir.  My dad suggested that I offer to accompany the choir in exchange for voice lessons.  So I did!  I got a great deal out of it because I was improving two of my talents for free.  I also attended early-morning Seminary (I believe we studied the Old Testament).

11th Grade: I continued with accompanying and voice lessons.  I auditioned for, and was accepted into, Tennessee Governor's School for the Arts.  It was a month-long summer program in which I was exposed to intense vocal training, choir, and opera scenes.  I also started working in my dad's business.  And I started taking piano lessons from a nearby university.  (This teacher was also lousy, so I gave it up after a while.)  I also attended early-morning Seminary (I believe we studied Church History and the Doctrine and Covenants [another LDS scripture]).

12th Grade: A new teacher was hired to teach choir (the other one had a baby and left).  She didn't allow me to accompany, so I joined the choir.  I still continued to take voice lessons with the other teacher, though.  I finally got up the courage this year to audition for All-East choir and All-State choir.  I easily got into both, with the highest score of anyone who auditioned.  I also continued working for my dad. I again attended early-morning Seminary (I believe we studied the Book of Mormon).  I also completed my Personal Progress this year (a four-year program for the young women at church in which we set goals and completed spiritual tasks and lots of service.)

BYU: I continued to take voice lessons, joined the choir, did opera scenes, and a whole host of other music classes (Diction, Theory, Sight-Singing, Dictation, Music History, Opera Scenes, Masterclasses, Pedagogy, Functional Piano Skills, etc.).  I also took several religion classes: Old Testament, New Testament, Church History, Doctrine and Covenants, Pearl of Great Price (another LDS scripture), Book of Mormon, Marriage and Family, and The Family: A Proclamation to the World.

All-in-all, I have had about 9 years of choir (if you include post-college choirs), 9 years of voice lessons, 3-4 years of piano lessons (I took lessons pretty sporadically, but I was always practicing), and 3 years of band.  I have been teaching piano and voice lessons on and off for about ten years.  I also had about 8 years of intense gospel study.

I have a great brain for math, which aids in my musical abilities.  Unfortunately, I don't have a brain for creativity.  So my talents are all very formulaic and less expressive, although I'm working on that...