Boundaries

This week I learned something about myself.  It was in a moment of frustration, and my only option (my best option) was to pray.  And the Lord revealed to me a piece of my personality that cleared things up, which made it easier to deal with.

First, I like rules.  I like to follow rules.  Rules are usually for the safety of one or another party, and sometimes for the convenience of one or another party.

Second, I like schedules.  I like to have an idea of what to expect in my day.  And if something comes up unexpectedly and urgently, I appreciate acknowledgement of my inconvenience.

Third, I like to be communicated with.  If someone has an expectation of me, I like to know in advance, and I like to be asked nicely and with a "please."

Basically, I discovered that I like boundaries.  It makes me feel safe.

This is why I also like routines, budgets, organization, advance notice, consistency, personal space, calendars, spreadsheets, clear job descriptions or list of duties, gratitude, punctuality, music, math, 5-year plan, decluttering, stopping at stop signs, proper grammar and punctuation, nice people, good sleep, Tetris, and taking turns.

I am not a confrontational person.  Actually, I'm a very opinionated person, but I try to filter what I say so as not to offend others.  I'm not always successful, and I hope that you will forgive me for my mistakes.

So this week, my boundaries were breached, it made me really uncomfortable.  I knew I was getting too close to my breaking point, so I avoided the situation.  I knew a confrontation wouldn't be helpful or fruitful, and might even be detrimental.

I knew that avoidance would be noticed, but I decided that I didn't need to apologize.  Not even to myself.  I did not need to feel guilty for doing the right thing, which was to avoid a fight.  I felt relieved and relaxed, and I was able to enjoy the rest of my vacation.

I see it as finding middle ground for myself.  By knowing this about myself, I can clarify what my boundaries are.  Then I can know my limits, and I can avoid those things which tend to boil over.

A while back, I went to an LDS Family Counselor to deal with my anxiety and depression.  In one of my two sessions, he said something profound:

To thine own self, be good enough.

And that's what I'm doing.

Journal Entry?

I think I can safely assume that the reason no one responded to my interesting post is probably because I haven't written in a while.  And because the blog is private, no one knows when it is updated.

I'll try not to assume that it was so uninteresting that people had nothing to say.  Which may also be true.

So I guess, for now, I'm just writing for my own benefit.  Bryan is out of town.  Which means that the hours I usually spend with him are filled instead with blogging, Pinterest, Netflix, and cleaning.  The kids are in bed, the laundry is done, the dishes are done, the apartment is picked up.

The apartment has been a challenge.  I would liken it unto glorified camping.  It is nice to have a functional, if not super small, kitchen.  It is nice to have washer and dryer in the apartment.  It is nice to have three bedrooms to spread out in.  It is nice to have a swamp cooler, except that the cool air is confined to one space.  It is nice to have a few channels even without cable; I've been learning a lot about decorating and cooking.

We get our daily exercise just walking out to our covered parking space.  We live on the third floor, and it feels like a block to our van.

Isaac has been frustrated with the move.  He keeps throwing his beloved blankie out of the crib, I believe so he can get attention following the ear-piercing distress screeching.  Tonight, I tied it to the crib.  And I'm ignoring the screams; I'm not going to lose three hours of sleep again tonight.

Well, if this gets too long, you won't read it.  So goodnight.

Interesting?

Last night, Bryan was writing a letter to his brother who is serving a mission in Ghana.  When he was done, he read it out loud to me.  Then he asked, is there anything you want to add?  Cute things the kids did this week?  Anything you want me to say about you?  I couldn't come up with anything interesting to share about me, and neither could he.  Hm.

Here's something: I applied polish to my toenails on Saturday.  Bright red.  This is a rare thing for me.  This morning Joseph asked why I still had red things on my toes because "they're yucky."  But maybe that's something interesting about Joseph, and not me.

I find that the most interesting parts of my day as of late are the kids and the things the kids say and do.  And that's really not about me.

I also find that some interesting things about me are the trials I have been experiencing as of late.  But they are so personal that I don't feel like I can share them.  Interesting, huh?  Not so much.

The most interesting things about me are things I used to do but don't necessarily have time for now.

Currently I am interested in restoring old furniture.  I've got ideas and aspirations!  But I don't have the space to do it.  I am also interested in learning how to decorate; but I am waiting until we aren't living in this apartment anymore, which will hopefully be in 3 to 4 weeks.  I am also interested in recording music; I have a bunch of songs in mind.

Yesterday, I filled out a new member form for our new ward.  They asked me to list callings I've had previously.  This is interesting, maybe.  I will categorize them for you:

Primary
Teacher
Pianist
2nd Counselor
President
Music Leader
Nursery Music Leader

Young Women
Adviser
Music Leader

Sunday School
Teacher
Team-teacher

Relief Society
2nd Counselor
Music Leader

Other Music
Ward Choir Director
Ward Chorister
Music Chair

So I am curious what my next calling will be.  Will it be a repeat, or will it be new to me?

It's also interesting that even though our records haven't been transferred from our old ward, we have already been asked to speak in church in a couple weeks.

I think the things I'm interested in are more interesting than me.

Interesting.

Post Falls, ID

Surrounded by boxes.  In an apartment that was never meant for six people.  In Post Falls, Idaho.  Waiting for our house to sell in Pullman, Washington.  So we can buy a new house in Coeur d'Alene.  ASAP.  The end.

Just Kidding

We are moving to Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.  Bryan will be managing a nursing home for Life Care Centers of America.  We still have to sell our home, but we are moving into an apartment in a couple of weeks so we can be with Bryan.  More details later.

Goodbye and Hello

It's still not official, and many of you know how utterly frustrating that has been.  But the change seems likely enough that we are moving forward with our summer plans.

We are probably moving to Bountiful, UT, where Bryan will manage a nursing home.  His start date will be June 18th.

We hope to be able to sell our house this summer.  In the meantime, I am going on a long vacation for two reasons.  One, I don't want to be alone with four children for an extended amount of time.  Two, I don't want to have to keep the house clean by myself with four children for the (hopefully) many showings.

So I will be vacationing in Utah until we come back and pack up our things and move permanently.

Which means, it's time to say goodbye.  I hope to drive away on June 18th.  By myself.  With four children.  By myself.

Wish me luck.  Better yet, pray for me.

Hard Work and Workin' Hard

I just wanted to document this day in history because I feel quite certain it won't happen again.

I have been working slavishly for a couple months to get ready to put the house on the market.  I feel that without the storage unit, this would have been impossible to accomplish.  We just don't live this neatly.  Savanna used to sleep in this room too, but a bed and a crib just took up too much space.  She now sleeps on the bottom bunk with Joseph, each sleeping perpendicularly.  Isaac was ready for bed super early today, so I took this picture first so he could sleep.

This is the boys' room, adding Savanna at night.  We don't have a play room any more, so I moved some of the toys into the kids' rooms (in their closets neatly tucked away in bins) and some over to the storage unit.

This is the boy's room closet and bookshelf.  These are the only children's books left in the house; the rest are in storage.  (It's amazing how the only way to get rid of the bookshelf mess was to get rid of the books.)

Sorry, I don't feel like going back and trying to rotate these pictures.  This is my linen closet.  It was also seriously decluttered.  When it's time for a showing, we will take the laundry hampers with us in the van, and probably some of the baskets will haul other miscellaneous clutter.

This is the kids' bathroom.  My friend helped me clean up the sinks, baths, and toilets.  The realtor added the flowers and towels.  The towel that is going across the top right now will be the hand towel left of the sink, but I found that we couldn't remember to keep our hands off them.  This will go to its rightful place only during showings.

Our bedroom has never looked so good.  There used to be a desk (and all its clutter) to the left of the bed.  The realtor lent us the picture above the bed.  Today I bought the end tables (for a good deal) and assembled them during nap time.  The pillows used to be on the couch, but the realtor suggested we move them to our bed to add color.  I guess I tend to be too monochromatic.

This is the other side of our bedroom.  We moved the bench in here and put the mirror (it used to be downstairs) here.  The realtor lent me the towels and ceramic stuff, but I did the flowers (I'm so proud of myself!).

This is our closet.  It also has never been so organized!  And not too much had to go to storage.

Our bathroom.  The realtor let me some nice towels.  Again, only for decoration.  They're too pretty to use.  Which goes against every practical bone in my body.

Front room.  She let me keep the couches with the covers.  I am grateful to not be shelling out $ to rent furniture.  She let me borrow the pillows and the "HOME" sign and the basket of sticks in the back corner (what kind of practical use are these???).  There's our new (used) electronic piano.  There are things I really love about it, and there are things I really miss about the "real thing."

Bryan picked out the picture a few months ago, and it worked really nicely with the colors in the kitchen.  (We never changed any of the paint in the house because then I would have had to replace the curtains too--I'm either lazy or practical.)  We've had the table for a couple of years; it was on sale.  The bowl is mine (it's Portuguese--found it at ROSS), but the fake lemons are hers.

Cleaned this up real good, huh?  Usually you can't see the countertop under the clutter.  The flowers are mine, the vases in the windowsill are hers.  I also removed several yucky screens throughout the house that I will need to replace eventually.  I also bought two bar stools at the suggestion of the realtor.

The plant will come down to the floor for showings.  The rug was added by the realtor.  I made the pillows.  She let me keep the couches with the couch covers once again.  And again, I'm glad to save my money.  And we moved the picture down from the front room.

I'm not even sure if we will be keeping this, but we needed to put something in this space.  And the foosball table worked great.  I know there's nothing on the walls, but you should see all the fixing and painting we did around the house.

My friend shined this room up really good.  During a showing, we will remove the hamper, detergent, wipes, and black bag.

My friend cleaned this pretty well.  Last night I stepped in a little puddle of pee, so I had to clean the floors once more.  And I can tell there has been some water damage to the floor, but I believe that started before we moved here.  We won't be replacing anything, so hopefully it is something the next buyer can live with or fix themselves.

This used to be the play room.  We painted the whole thing and cleaned the carpet.  We put the two twin beds together to make it a King, per the realtor's suggestion.  I think it turned out nicely!  Again, nothing on the walls.  Oh, well.

We moved the computer stuff down to the storage room, and it fits really nicely in the cubby under the stairs behind the open door.

The other side of the storage room.  We moved most of the junk out of here into the storage unit.  I did put some toys in here.  Again, we just needed something to take up the space.  The realtor's first comment to me about the house was that it was really empty.  But the stuff I put in storage definitely wasn't helping.

We moved a lot of clutter over to the storage unit.  My goal is to show that, indeed, two cars can fit in this garage.  Bryan only parks inside during winter, and it's a pretty tight squeeze.  But it can be done!

The nice thing about this garage is that it has much overhead shelving.  The realtor suggested leaving some of the stuff up there to draw the buyer's attention to all the storage space available.

Our yard is a pretty narrow L-shape.  We couldn't even fit a badminton set anywhere, so Bryan took it back.  There used to be a shed on the concrete slab, but Bryan sold it.  We need to remove the dead grass pile.

This is the back corner of the yard.  We need to move the pool, and under it is a sandbox.  The kids loved the sandbox, and usually mixed it into the pool during summer.  Such a mess!  That house you see in the corner is the Bishop's house.  We don't see them much, but it has been really convenient on occasion.

This is the other half of the L, directly behind our house.  That patio is right off the kitchen, and we usually put the little pool there.

I just wanted to show the hanging plants I bought today.  I hope I can keep them alive.  Oh, and the house on the far left is where my friend (who helps me clean) lives.  She has been wonderful this week.  She even took me and the kids out to dinner tonight since Bryan was gone.  We celebrated her son's 24th birthday (he is severely mentally retarded, and very sweet).

It's official.  The signs went up tonight.  And I have to tell you, the yard has never looked better, thanks to Bryan.  He has worked many hours out there trying to increase the curb appeal.

I also bought this new welcome mat because my friend (who has been helping me clean) suggested I get a new one.  I put the old one on the side patio.

We took the swing down.  We added the rocks on the right curve.  We have been weeding like crazy (and it shows--many people around here have dandelions instead of grass).  Bryan got to use a chain saw for the first time, and removed some of the dead trees on the left.  Lucky for us, the tulips are thriving without our help.  And the roses will come up in the summer.  Note to self: find a new location for the garbage cans.

I find it very rewarding to post all our hard work.  I'm just sayin'.  :D