The Bus

Every parent who sends their child to public school will have to face this question: will I drive or send my kid on the bus?  (Unless you're close enough to walk.)

I rode the bus as a kid.  And I remember it being a place where unsupervised kids would speak and act inappropriately.  One time, a kid even said to me, "Have you ever masturbated?  Nah, you probably don't even know what that is."  The theme of the bus, and also the space of time when we arrived in school and waited in the cafeteria for school to start, was sex, sex, sex.  Luckily I had parents who were willing to talk to me about my questions, but unfortunately many of the questions sprang up after the periods of time on the bus and in the cafeteria holding place.

When Caleb was in Kindergarten, the bus didn't come to our neighborhood because we lived too close to the school.  But it was at least a mile to walk, so I drove him.

The bus started coming to our neighborhood last year, but I still drove him because of my aforementioned reasons.

I have two other arguments against the bus.  One is that I like the control of seeing my child enter the school, and exit again.  I like to be able to see her safely into the hands of the next caregiver.  The last argument is about the amount of time my child would waste being on the bus.

This year, in our new town, Kindergartners go to a separate school called the Kinder Center.  Neither school is super far from our house, but the traffic to get to the Kinder Center is not awesome.  I was driving to two schools two times a day each.  Savanna attends afternoon Kindergarten, so it was a struggle to keep Isaac awake until we could get home for a nap.  But I kept driving.  Then I talked to a few moms about the Kindergarten bus, skeptical that it would be for us.  But they explained that the Kindergartners aren't allowed to sit together, that they have to sit one to a seat.  Not that I think Kindergartners are going to speak inappropriately, but my mind was eased that mischief would be difficult to manage in this seating arrangement.  So I put her on the bus.  My other two arguments were appeased because the bus is a direct conduit to the school.  I felt safe placing her in the care of the bus driver, who follows strict rules to ensure she enters the school when she gets there.  Savanna's a good kids, so I'm not worried she's going to try to wander off.  And lastly, the amount of time I was wasting more than makes up for the time she is wasting.  And if you count everyone's hours separately, the boys time wasted, plus mine, it was so much more than the time she wasted.

And when I told her she could ride the bus, she was ecstatic.  She doesn't mind the wasted time.  Obviously.

I still drop off and pick up Caleb from school.  And next year, when Savanna is in first grade, I will only have to travel to one school.  I'm still wary of the bus for the elementary school; and as it's not very far away, I think I will always drive them.

I'm curious about your thoughts: what do you think about the bus?

Christmas Letter

If you didn't receive an email with our Christmas Letter, it's because I don't have a current email address for you.  Please email me at briannehlindsay at gmail dot com so I can send you one.

Cooperation

I've had a few bad experiences with cooperation.

When Caleb was in Kindergarten, I tried to do a carpool with two ladies.  One of them was consistently late, and then finally just didn't show up one day.  The other lady used the carpool as a reward/punishment for her own child, so she was unreliable.

Recently, I started teaching piano lessons to two kids in exchange for regular babysitting.  I've taught three or four times, but I've only had an hour of babysitting in return.

And then there was preschool.  I'm not completely opposed to preschool, but I have a few objections all the same.  My first and main objection is that kids go to school when they're five.  I like to keep them with me as long as possible (and then gladly wave goodbye when it's time for Kindergarten).  My second objection has to do with the ages and personalities of my own children.  When Caleb was little, we never did any form of preschool, except at home.  When he started Kindergarten, he was one of the youngest in his class.  Also one of the most advanced: when he was three, he wrote "CALEB DORE" in permanent marker on my mom's bathroom door.

When Savanna was little, we were invited to be in a preschool co-op.  We joined, more for the social aspect (both for her and for me).  Unfortunately, Savanna was older than the other kids by 6 months to a year.  And she was advanced for her age.  So while she was learning some social skills, she was bored with learning letters and numbers (in fact, she is still bored with learning letters and numbers in Kindergarten at almost 6-years-old).

This year, my neighbor invited me to join a preschool co-op for Joseph.  This is basically the same story, that we joined for the social aspect.  We had just moved, and I thought it would be a good way to make friends.  Again, Joseph is so much older than the other kids and advanced for his age.

There were four moms, and five kids.  The mom with twins was the initiator and leader.  When she met with me to discuss the group, she said she would be taking double turns since she has two kids.

It turns out that she never scheduled herself for double turns.  I felt a little taken advantage of.  I probably wouldn't have minded if she had told me from the beginning that she wouldn't be taking double turns.  But that's not what she said, so it became immediately obvious that she was in this to gain some free babysitting.  Then she would regularly drop her kids off early and pick them up late.  This just confirmed my frustration of being used.  And I saw her do the same thing to the other women in the co-op.   I might not have minded the extra minutes (or half hours) of watching her kids if she had taken double turns, and if she could have called in advance to let me know her plans.

Another kid is 2.5.  I disagree, wholeheartedly, that 2-year-olds should go to preschool, let alone that she is a whole year younger than Joseph.  And she is really naughty.

I was also frustrated that two of the parents lived in another city.  It is just far enough that it's hard to justify coming all the way home between dropping off and picking up.  One day I could do all my shopping, no problem.  The next day, it was a struggle to find something to do when I really needed to be getting chores done at home.  And then I felt like anything I could do to entertain Savanna and Isaac, meant that Joseph was missing out on that particular activity because I was unlikely to do it again that week.

And my last argument is that when we started, Joseph was the only one potty-trained.  I don't think kids in diapers should go to preschool.  Daycare, maybe, but not preschool.  I'm sorry if I am offending anyone with my opinions on this matter, but I don't think it's right for me to be expected to change four kids during the length of preschool.  I just think potty-training should be a prerequisite to attending preschool.

So I quit.  I felt that my anger and frustration each week were not worth the effort.

I plan to continue preschool with Joseph at home.  This way we will have the flexibility to take "field trips" that he won't miss out on.  It will also free up a lot of time to get my regular chores done (I was struggling to keep up).  And as far as learning social skills, brothers and sisters are good for that.

I wish there was a way to cooperate or barter with less frustration.  It seems that only green bills speak to complete fairness in an exchange.  Or maybe not complete fairness, but some kind of fairness.

Progress

I was not carded for the cough medicine I bought today.

Which means I no longer look like I'm 16.  I'm at least 21!

:)

Advice

Many of you know that I don't ask for advice very often.  (I give it often, probably unwanted most of the time.  Sorry about that.)  I like to figure things out for myself, and I probably want to appear capable.  Both of those things stem from the anxiety, I think.  No one wants to look like a fool, but with anxiety, I desperately don't want to look like a fool.  I can think of a few times when I was the fool.  (Okay, I'm going on a tangent here; bear with me, I will get to the point.)

Once, I said something in front of a choir of 100 people, and it came out wrong, and they all laughed.  And it still took me another minute to figure out why they thought it was so funny.  I was completely humiliated.  And they couldn't let me live it down for a long time.

And another time, I attempted to join an aerobics class.  I have never been coordinated (or maybe I'm so afraid of looking like a fool, that I have not practiced enough to be coordinated).  I couldn't get some of the moves, and I kept losing my balance.  And a few people laughed at me, so I quit.  I know how I tend to perceive people who are tone-deaf.  And I just can't stand being perceived in the same way with regards to body movement.  It makes me sick to my stomach, and it makes me want to cry.  (Yes, we are talking desperate in the form of a mild panic attack.)

So, I'm going to ask for advice, at the risk of looking like a complete fool.  Because as regards beauty and beauty products, I am tragically uninformed.  So for those of you who have longed to give me a makeover, here is your virtual chance.

Here is my situation:  I have dry skin around my eyes.  I suspect it is psoriasis or eczema.  When washing my face, I have to rub my eyes a fair amount to remove all the make up.  If I don't rub it off with soap, it won't come off all the way; so then I end up rubbing even harder with a towel.  (I even tried makeup removing wipes, but their texture was still too rough.)  This perpetuates the original problem.  If I don't wear makeup for several days, it improves.  I apply lotion to my skin twice a day.  So, first, is there a super-gentle makeup remover in existence?  And second, is there a better moisturizer for the skin around my eyes?

I'm hoping to try over-the-counter products before I seek help from a dermatologist.  Thanks!

Ooltewah

O! O!
L! T!
EWAH!
Ooltewah!

Ever heard of it?  I'll give you a hint:  It means "owl's nest."  No?

I grew up in Chattanooga, Tennessee.  My family moved there when I was 8, and I moved out when I was 18.

I went to Ooltewah Intermediate School, Ooltewah Middle School, and Ooltewah High School.

After I moved out, my parents moved about a mile and half away to Ooltewah-Ringgold Rd, which is in the census-designated place called Ooltewah.  (Ringgold is in Georgia, about a mile and a half from where my parents lived [I've heard rumors that Dolly Parton was married in the little white chapel on the main street in Ringgold].)

My parents have since moved again, and I haven't been back there much since I moved out.  I went home for a summer after my freshman year of college.  I went back when Bryan met my parents for the first time.  We visited occasionally when Bryan was in grad school at UK in Lexington, KY.  And I went back for a friend's wedding when I was pregnant with Joseph.  Now that my parents have moved, and I don't stay in really good contact with my high school friends, it is just a place "that I used to know."

Recently, Bryan got a new job in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho (if you ever want a great vacation, come visit us!) with Life Care Centers of America.  It is based out of Cleveland, Tennessee, believe it or not.  Cleveland was part of my stake (geographic grouping of Latter-day Saints) growing up.

Each year, the company holds a conference in Cleveland, and sometimes even invites the spouse to come.  (Unfortunately, this year they didn't invite me.)  They couldn't fit all the employees in the hotels of Cleveland, so guess where they sent the remainder.  Yep:  Ooltewah.

My husband is in Ooltewah this week, of all places.

Other claims to fame:  Ooltewah is right next to Collegedale.  Which is home of the Southern Adventist University and a large Seventh-day Adventist following.  Collegedale is also home of McKee Bakery, also known as Little Debbie and Sunbelt.  (We always got the deadbread varieties at the bakery thrift store.)  Also, Chattanooga was the home of the famous Choo Choo until a lawsuit took it to Georgia (?!).  Chattanooga is also home of TVA.  It is also a location of the Civil War (Chickamauga Battlefield is in Georgia, and Lookout Mountain is in Tennessee).  You can also "See Rock City" on Lookout Mountain.  And Chattanooga has also been known as the "buckle" of the Bible belt.

And of course you must be wondering, can I talk like a Tennesseean?  Yes.  Yes, I ca'an.

Ode to School

What is this felicity?  Ah, I hear sighs of content.  I can hear them!  Gently trickling forth from my own mouth.  Wonderful full-day 3rd grade.  Dear afternoon Kindergarten.  Sweetest afternoon naps.  A smile and a long deep breath for the peace I am to expect for two hours.  Shall we rendezvous again tomorrow?