Helicopter Parenting

Recently I noticed a headline about extreme helicopter parenting: Should infants wear helmets when they initiate mobility?

It got me to thinking: what are some life skills kids need to learn (that helicopter parents deprive them of)?

Life Skill #1: Sleeping. Kids need to learn how to sleep. A few nights of cry-it-out may make you lose sleep (and hurt your feelings), but the gains over time are worth the effort. Part of this process is allowing the kid to learn how to soothe himself. Which brings me to my next point.

Life Skill #2: Self-soothing. If the parent always soothes the child, the child will expect to be soothed every time something disagreeable happens. Kids are smart; they will become lazy (on purpose). Now, I'm not saying you should ignore or neglect your child, and there are certainly times when mama's kiss or hug is the only thing that works.

Life Skill #3: This one is along the same vein as number two: Self-entertaining. (Again, not saying to neglect.) I just imagine that if it was my responsibility to entertain my child 100% of their awake time, I would never get anything else done. And I imagine that my entertainment could easily need to get bigger and better (and impossible). And thank goodness I have an imagination, because I bet I wouldn't if my mother had entertained me all the time.  (An aside:  I'm not saying you should ignore your children.  Sometimes they need to be shown how to play.  But there should be enough time set aside for them to play alone or with each other to allow for creative play.)

Life Skill #4: Crawling and toddling (without the helmet). Kids learn about the world by discovering. They need to be allowed to "get into things" so they can learn! A baby with a helmet might struggle to learn about gravity, while a kid with a good bonk will learn to be more careful next time.

Life Skill #5: Cleaning up after oneself. His roommates will thank you later. And it can start as simple as having him help put the toys away. When he's older, he can put shoes away and hang up his own coat. And he can put his own dishes in the sink. Mommy won't always be there to help, so kids need to be independent in this way. And I hope that it will translate to messes they make emotionally and in their future relationships. Kids need to take responsibility, as they become developmentally capable.

I could go on, but I think I need to repeat one statement. Mommy won't always be there to help. In other words, what things do I need to teach so that my kids will be successful when I'm not there to help? I think the greatest measure of success in parenting is that my kids know that I love them, and a close second is that they can leave the nest and be successful without me.

I can't be a helicopter parent with four children so close together.  But I don't think I'd want to anyway.

Punctual, yes. Early? No thanks.

I used to have anxiety. Well, I still do, but now I have tools to deal with it. Life is great! I used to feel an urgency to be early to everything because walking in late would mean people would be watching me. Then, there was Stake Conference. Last year, we arrived early. We still didn't get a good seat, and then we had to entertain our kids for the extra time. On top of the already two hours they would need to sit still. Thbbbpt. So this year, we got wiser. As long as we could get there before the meeting started, no one would judge us for being late. We still got the bad seats, but we saved the effort of the extra time. And I was still in the hallway most of the time with the one-year-old.

Joseph is Three, and Isaac is Walking!

Mowgli and Bagel

Untitled from Brianne Lindsay on Vimeo.

Untitled from Brianne Lindsay on Vimeo.

Comfortable

Ice Cream

Shout Out to My Valentine

I'm not a big V-day lover, but I'm also no hater. I think Bryan and I have been apart for more than one Valentine's Day. This is one. He had to make a business trip, and I will be traveling 333 miles with 4 kids to meet up with him tomorrow. But I'm missing him tonight. When he's not here, I can't unload all my thoughts onto him. It's hard to fall asleep. Or, more accurately, it's hard to get motivated to sleep. Bryan is a main element of my winding-down process. Ice cream doesn't taste as good. Tetris isn't as fun. My bed isn't as warm. The steady breathing of my best friend doesn't lull me into secure sleep. I feel bad for all the people in the world who do not have a Bryan in their lives. Goodnight, sweetheart.