Throwing Off My Sponge and Putting On My Duck

My grandpa taught my dad, and subsequently my dad taught me, to "be a duck." But as you know, it has not been easy for me to let those offenses drip off my back, like water off a duck. I tend to be a sponge instead. And that is exactly wrong. So I'm going to try to be more like a duck.

And completely unrelated, here are some pictures:

Have I told you this boy loves milk?

Have I told you that this girl is a princess?

And did I tell you that I have the sweetest kids? Without prompting, they made me breakfast in bed for Mother's Day. They warmed up a leftover German pancake and sprinkled powdered sugar on top. I'm not sure who was more excited, them or me.

Happy Mother's Day!

Drain Clog and Seminary Students

No, they are not related. They just make up the two thoughts I had this morning.

The chemicals in drain clog remover also cleans off the black stains on the bottom of my bathtub. Nothing else worked. I discovered this in my attempt to clear the drain. Now you know.

All but three of the seminary students didn't show up for seminary this morning. They went out to breakfast instead. Several questions enter my mind:

1. Why the heck would you get up so early just to socialize? Stay home and sleep.
2. Do their parents know they skipped class?
3. If their parents know, how come they think it's okay? Shouldn't they at least have notified the teacher that most of the students wouldn't be there?
4. Do the students really have no idea the sacrifices my husband makes to be there? Do they realize that I'm making sacrifices too?
5. What is their problem?
6. Don't they realize that their actions, even though they are teenagers, can be offensive to adults?
7. What should my husband do? I can't do anything because it's not my place. But I would like to call their parents. And then I would like to chew the students out.
8. Do they realize that this is God's gospel, not Bryan's?

And for the happy:

Me: I love you, Joe.
Joseph: Too, Mom.

All About Isaac

This poor kid fell asleep on the floor today. He started on his back: he is almost there!

Bryan and I did not know we could produce offspring with curly hair:

Ikey is a pretty easy-going baby. Sometimes he sleeps through the night, sometimes he doesn't (I suspect those darn growth spurts). His biggest achievement with regards to sleep is that he can fall asleep on his own in his own bed.

I can hardly remember life before Isaac. I love this guy!

Creative

Someone offended me. Over and over. Almost every time I wrote a post, I could expect an unkind comment. I realize that I probably contributed to the problem by reacting. Sometimes it was a face-to-face conversation, sometimes it was a comment on my blog that I was reacting to. And I reacted by writing a generic, hopefully obscure, blog post in response to the offense. I realize now that the offender probably picked up on my reaction and became offended in turn. So I take some of the blame. My most recent reaction, of closing my other blog, actually gave me a lot of relief. I know that it won't be a venue for more attacks. However, I'm not sure where to go from here. I feel uncomfortable with the dissolved friendship. But I'm not sure I want to repair it. I probably should do something to repair it, at least to some degree. But I'm not sure if it's even possible at this point, if it would just be a facade. And I definitely don't want a best friend out of it. (Don't worry, I'm not talking about any of you.)

Now that I'm being so generic, and you have no idea what I'm talking about, do you have any advice? This is a person that I have to interact with frequently.

All that to say, 1) I reread my blog posts to discover what may have been offensive, and 2) I found that I have been stymied in my attempt to write my thoughts and feelings lest I receive an unkind comment of some sort. I lost my creativity. Well, part of the blame lies in the fact that I don't have much extra time lately. The baby has kept me so busy and so tired that when I get a free moment, it is usually spent resting.

I have finally trained him how to fall asleep in his crib so that I don't have to rock him. This frees up more time, and my hands.

This past week included a lot of drama for me. My husband had a ton going on at work, which meant that I had a ton going on at work (home). And several family members are going through really difficult times, so that my prayers at night are filled with their names and circumstances. Because I can't do anything to help, it's so frustrating; all I can do is pray. And then my frustration with the blog thing. And my YW calling is frustrating me, for two reasons. First, my husband teaches the same girls in Seminary, and they are disrespectful to him. It offends me that they would treat my sweetheart that way. And then, one of them avoids me, for reasons I can't understand. How can I do my calling if I can't even reach the girls? How can I do my calling if I feel antagonistic toward them? Oh, and one more thing to add to the drama. My son has warts on his feet. So I tried to treat them at home. It was so painful and traumatic for him, so that it was really traumatic for me. I will never do that again. I felt so bad for causing him so much pain that I couldn't sleep. Luckily, it is healing rather quickly.

Okay, I think I got it all out now. I am returning to normal. Coming soon: happy, creative blog posts for your reading pleasure.

And a little taste of happy now:

Caleb: How can dry-ice burn your skin? I really don't understand. I really want to understand. (He's 6.)

Savanna (overheard): What have I done? I broke my tower. (I just love these adult phrases that she must have heard on TV or something.)

Joseph: Ow-gator. Uh, wock-a-die-oh. (You know, they live in swamps.)

Isaac: Ghhhh.

Bryan: (I can't think of one, but he makes me laugh anyway.)

6-4-2-0

And if you'd like to see the stair-steps from 2 years ago, click here:
http://bryandbri.blogspot.com/2009/09/picture-post.html

Defensive

When someone slaps you, do you slap them back?

Do you turn the other cheek?

Do you keep turning your cheek, or is it okay to avoid the slap?

I am at the point of avoiding the slap. Does that mean I have less charity than I should? Probably. On the other hand, it doesn't make sense to purposely submit to hurt. Eventually, you've got to protect yourself.

So this is me protecting myself.

Why did I think I could handle a public blog? I care too much about what people think and what they say. It hurts my feelings too much when someone is negative with me. Maybe I'm too sensitive, and yet I feel like that's a part of my personality that I don't have much control over. I am shy, insecure, and sometimes depressed. I hate that I wear those emotions on my sleeve. I wish these were not my challenges in life. But since we're being honest, there it is.

I am going to close my public blog. I'm going to consolidate my family updates with my personal thoughts. I'm sure I will lose a few readers since you won't have the convenience of Google Reader. I'm truly sorry.

I just can't allow myself to be irritated/angry/hurt over unkind comments anymore. Don't bother looking for them. I never published the worst ones.

Please understand.

Marching into April

Okay, so here is the latest in our family:Self-soothing. I think it's great in the newborn phase because he can put himself to sleep now. Unfortunately, two of my other kids rejected the pacifier and still suck their fingers. Alas.

We went to Utah for Isaac's blessing. We also celebrated Joseph's 2nd birthday, visited most of our families, and caught up with some of our best friends. Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures of those things (what was I thinking?). But here is a picture of Grandma-great playing Foosball with Caleb.

Yes, I'm a rotten mother. I gave T-rex a little snack.

In the van on the long trip. The kids were great but completely worn out.

Joseph loves this hat. My mom tried to make him a blue one, but he rejected it. Luckily, Savanna got a new hat, so they don't have to fight over the one.

Bryan's sister and her family came to visit. Their little boy and Joseph will be best buds someday.

We love our Ikey-poo.