A Singer's Worst Nightmare

I was supposed to sing at this Stake Relief Society Conference. But when I got there, I realized that I had forgotten the music. There was no time to run home and get it. So I frantically searched for the accompanist to see if she had the music, and if we could by any chance make a copy of the music before the meeting. You wouldn't believe this, but she forgot the music too! So I frantically looked for a pen and paper, because I could still sing the song a capella if I wrote down the words. But people were coming up to me and asking me questions, and I couldn't think of the words. You won't believe this, but my good friend came up and miraculously had a copy of the music! I started to write down the words, but then realized that she had given me two copies. Relief! All would be well. But the accompanist had stepped out and was nowhere to be found. So my friend offered to play, but she had never seen the music before, and she isn't a fabulous pianist anyway. It wasn't too hard a song, so what the heck! I didn't have much time to be picky: it was almost time to start. But as I sat waiting for my turn, I realized that someone else was already singing the song. That's just weird. So I checked the program, and sure enough, the same music was listed on the agenda twice! Why would they do that? By the end of the song the congregation thought the program was over (they figured it was a mistake on the program too); and it was so miserably hot in the chapel without air conditioning. So they began to get up and leave quickly as I walked up to the microphone. So the Stake RS President ran to the podium and told everyone to stop because there was one more thing on the program. By then, I felt so frustrated and flustered, annoyed and embarrassed; but what could I do? So the accompaniment began, but I didn't recognize it. It was either a different arrangement, or my friend was playing in a minor key. She was playing horribly! Then the lights began to dim, and I couldn't see the music or the words. So like any good singer, I tried to wing it and pretend like nothing was wrong... I just began making up a melody to match her and tried to make sense with as many words as I could remember (and then some). I was singing horribly! I have never sounded that bad in my life. I wanted to stop, start over and accompany myself, because then maybe I could redeem myself. But I remembered my mom telling me that accompanying oneself at a church function is inappropriate; not to mention that everyone in the congregation was so eager to leave. Then, when I thought it couldn't get worse, it did. The mic broke off, and almost immediately after, the podium began falling toward me because the wood was rotting at the base. So I grabbed the mic with one hand, held up the podium with my body, and finished my mortifying experience of a song.

This really happened. Last night. In my dream. Thank goodness!!! And all is well. The song turned out just fine and the accompaniment was superb (thanks, Angela!).