1. I almost never get emotional when someone tells me I will, or when someone else is. Bryan will tell you that I am an emotional being, or that I do get emotional often. And that would be true.
2. But I am also very independent. I like to do things myself, in my own way.
3. I almost never realize, right at the height of huge transition, how it will affect me. And then later, when I do realize how the transition has affected me, I'm already immersed in it. And it's too late to get emotional about it.
So you might not have seen me get emotional very often.
Today was no exception, yet. I just dropped Caleb off at Kindergarten half an hour ago.
Caleb couldn't sleep last night. He was up at the crack of dawn. Every other thing out of his mouth today was how excited he was to go. I've known for a long time that he was ready, and I've known for a long time it was coming.
In the car on the way to school, Caleb said, quite matter-of-fact-ly, "Mom, I'm going to miss you the most." But when I told him Daddy and I were going to walk in with him, he was a little perturbed because he wanted to be "dropped off."
When we got there, we still had 10 minutes before class started. Bryan and I held him off for a few minutes taking pictures. But every 2 minutes, Caleb whined, "When is it going to start? Is it time yet?" Finally, after an eternity of waiting, the teacher opened the door, and Caleb was the first to line up. When she told the Kindergartners to say goodbye to their parents, Caleb turned around and yelled in an indistinct direction, making no eye contact.
As Bryan and I walked away, I said, "That was it?" Which is exactly the same emotion I had when the realtor dropped off the keys to our new house. What? No fanfare, no fireworks, no high five?! Alrighty then.
Now I'm home, Savanna and Joseph are taking naps, and I don't exactly know how to spend my time. Should I clean? Yes, but nah. I could nap, but I'm not sure if I can sleep, especially if I know I have to pick Caleb up in a short while.
Maybe later I'll get emotional about it, but probably not.
7 comments:
That's how I imagine that it will be when Zeeli goes. People ask me if I will be sad but I often say "no" and then wonder if I should feel guilty about that. I think when they go to 1st grade then it will be different and I will have to transition more because they will be gone all day instead of a couple of hours.
Brianne, I feel SUCH the same way. Sometimes I feel like I live my life so matter-of-factly, I'm very task oriented. I just do what needs to be done and by the time I'm in the thick of something significant, I'm too busy to get emotional. You said it very well. Even when I do have the time to reflect on my emotions, they tend to be more analytical or philisophical than teary-eyed.
Although, then I get teary-eyed over random, seemingly pointless things.
I am so glad you posted about this. I've been really eager to know about how Caleb would do in school. I figured he'd be beyond excited about it.
But I'm also glad that you posted about how this affected you. It was a great post! I hope that you all adjust to the new kindergarten schedule well, and that on some days you take naps and other days you clean, and other days you watch movies or plan lessons or... whatever it is you want to do when both the kids in the house are sleeping at the same time.
Caleb is a hoot.
I'm glad you feel like this. I felt like this too, but all the moms I talk to said they cried and were so sad. I felt a little guilty that I wasn't sad about Alyssa going to kindergarten. But like Britta, sometimes I cry over the most unusual things. :)
I'm afraid I did cry dropping Emily off. I was fine, a little nervous, until I watched her marching into the room with the other kids. Then I lost it. But then, as John will tell you, I cry about everything.
How did Caleb do?? Emily is having a blast.
Well said. Do we get a report of how his first day was?
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