VI. The Twins

It makes sense, chronologically, to talk about the twins here.

I was seven when my mom delivered the twins.  I won't even attempt to understand or portray her feelings.  As a mother, I think I can imagine what her feelings might have been.

Of course, I really didn't understand much about what was going on.  I remember my mom was in the hospital on or around Christmas.  I'm sure the doctors were doing everything in their power to stop the labor.  Within a couple weeks, she was 21 weeks along.  She had too much water; nothing could be done.  Later we wondered if it was caused by undiagnosed gestational diabetes, or if the undiagnosed cancer may have had something to do with it.

One twin lived for only a minute, the other was stillborn.  She never got a birth certificate for either, and we never had a funeral.

I remember going to the hospital with my siblings.  My parents involved us in the mourning process, which was probably really wise on their part.  We each held each of the babies.  I remember how tiny their bodies were.  I remember how red their skin was, I remember their tiny faces, their tiny fingers and toes.  I remember how skinny their arms and legs were.

At some point that night, my mom was braiding my hair, and the other kids were herded to the car.  When she was done, I looked at the babies for the last time.  One of them was bleeding, and I took a cloth and gently wiped the blood away.

Though no birth certificates existed, and no funeral was performed, my parents still named the babies:

Richard Alexander (Baby A) and
Randall Bryan (Baby B)

But of course, we believe in eternal families.  My parents were married in the temple for time and all eternity.  Each of the children was born in that covenant.  Our family will be together forever, including my brothers.  Even though they lived for a very short time, they did live!  Spirits resided in their bodies.  No one could ever convince me otherwise.