When someone slaps you, do you slap them back?
Do you turn the other cheek?
Do you keep turning your cheek, or is it okay to avoid the slap?
I am at the point of avoiding the slap. Does that mean I have less charity than I should? Probably. On the other hand, it doesn't make sense to purposely submit to hurt. Eventually, you've got to protect yourself.
So this is me protecting myself.
Why did I think I could handle a public blog? I care too much about what people think and what they say. It hurts my feelings too much when someone is negative with me. Maybe I'm too sensitive, and yet I feel like that's a part of my personality that I don't have much control over. I am shy, insecure, and sometimes depressed. I hate that I wear those emotions on my sleeve. I wish these were not my challenges in life. But since we're being honest, there it is.
I am going to close my public blog. I'm going to consolidate my family updates with my personal thoughts. I'm sure I will lose a few readers since you won't have the convenience of Google Reader. I'm truly sorry.
I just can't allow myself to be irritated/angry/hurt over unkind comments anymore. Don't bother looking for them. I never published the worst ones.
Please understand.
6 comments:
Brianne I don't comment much but I do check your blog quite often. I love your thoughts, your blog has always been a favorite of mine. You so wonderfully put into words what I think so often. Negative comments are so hurtful, funny how one mean comment outweighs a thousand sweet ones. Sad but so true....
I hate mean bloggers. Why do people post rude things? If it's by accident, that's one thing, but to do it purposefully is not cool.
I can understand what you mean. I'm sad there are people who have difficulty saying nice things. I love you Brianne :)
I ditto what Eric and Jenny said. You always say things that I'm thinking. Hopefully I was never a person that hurt your feelings. Love you Bri.
As long as you have a blog, private or public, I will be an avid reader.
As for the charity thing, avoiding a slap does NOT make you less charitable. I heard a talk last week at Women's conference that was about controversial gospel topics and one of the comments that stood out to me was something like this: as a people, we have tolerance to all other religions and points of view, but we do NOT have to tolerate what they do. Tolerance and tolerate do not mean the same thing.
Here is the exact quote from Elder Nelson: "But in discussing this topic, we must recognize at the outset that there is a difference between tolerance and tolerate. Your gracious tolerance for an individual does not grant him or her license to do wrong, nor does your tolerance obligate you to tolerate his or her misdeed. That distinction is fundamental to an understanding of this vital virtue."
So your judgement of turning your cheek once or twice is a virtue! The virtue of tolerance. But that doesn't mean you have to tolerate it over and over again. That is called abuse and is never ok.
p.s. this is Britta, not Scott. I just realized he's signed in as I was about to publish. I love your thoughts and hope you will still feel comfortable sharing them on your private blog.
Thanks, Britta. That is wise counsel.
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