Some of you, maybe none of you, may have seen a rant post on my blog about a month ago that quickly disappeared because I was afraid of sounding really negative.
Whether you saw it or not, I feel the need to explain/vent. So forgive me for being negative, and forgive me for my soapbox. (While the general ideas are true, the names have been changed and the details obscured.)
Today, the woman with whom we carpool to school didn't show up for the Xth time. Which meant that I had to get Hpesoj up from a nap, feed him, get everybody's socks and shoes and coats on, load everyone into the van, arrive at the school Y minutes after school started, unload everyone from the van, and sign Belac in late. (It's hard to make this sound as exasperated in print as I was in real life. And I'm leaving out a lot of details of my frustration with this woman.) Later in the day Betty Jo explained that she was forgetful, her life is crazy right now, and she didn't have a way to reach me. "So, sorry." And that was it. As unemotional and insincere as it looks in print.
SO...I called off the carpool completely. Now I have control over my time, and I can plan my day without relying on other people.
While I am not perfect, I try to be dependable. I missed driving to school once because Belac was sick. And I called several hours before school started to let them know.
If a person is going to be late (or not show up), he/she ought to call in advance. And if that is not possible, a profuse apology would be appropriate.
4 comments:
I am 100% with you on this one. It is really important to be on time, especially to things where you get in trouble if you are not. (It's rude to be late to social engagements, but in many scenarios you are not holding anything back by being a few minutes late. Still rude, but not the end of the world.) School is a whole different matter. How is it possible that she doesn't have a way to get a hold of you? What year is this?
I'm sorry you've lost your carpool because I know that when it worked well it had the potential for being stress-relieving for you, but it sounds like it was causing more stress than it was relieving.
Here, here! Habitual lateness / flakey-ness are a pet peeve of mine. Good for you for taking charge and not being at her mercy anymore!
I will agree 100%.
I feel like I understand your vent and rant, but sadly, from the other point of view. While I have never just not shown up, I have been the "needy one" in our carpool over the last few months. I always call in advance, and I try my best, but my fellow mothers have had to step in many times to help me as my life has somehow spun out of control.
The point of me saying this is that being "flaky" is never the answer. Not showing up is just not okay. Most people I know will gladly step in and help if you simply communicate a need. If this woman friend of yours would just call you, I'm sure you'd gladly help her, even taking her children. But when people are flaky and unreliable, it makes people mad and annoyed. So if you are in a bind, it's just best to communicate it and so people can help you, not be annoyed at you.
I hate being late too, BTW.
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